The dream: I woke up during a dream when I was a child in my family home

I was able to draw upon details. I have not thought of for probably over 50 years, but there I was investigating the empty lot right on the side of my family home.

I had had dirt claw fights in that lot and used to jump my bike off of ramps that were built upon that lot

Years later, they built another house upon that lot, but I can still remember what it was like before that new house was built

It was a single mom and her son, Cheryl Price, and her son Jason

What is remarkable is for some reason I can now often travel back to an early childhood memory in a dream and during the dream continue to explore that Bagon memory and often often wonder why many of these memories are never populated, but rather where I am the soul participant and observer and my mind will ask self questions as to why this is so

I also think back as to how my father who spent his entire life living in that childhood family home that he purchased when he was in the Navy until his passing

I have many questions about just what he observed throughout his lifetime on that small patch of land on the top of a hill

But more of my attention is honestly from my own observations and memories that I question since I was mostly the soul, occupant and antagonist of my own dream memory, which pursues this lonely quest to think and better understand these dream memories, which must have some significance if I continue to come back to them

I have found from my studies that these dreams can have a significant beneficial factor in my analysis and interpretation that I often employ to better understand the world around me

Like the empty dirt lot I also have a memory of an old car dealership that was close relatively speaking to my family home, which was called Pearson Ford on Fairmont in El Cajon

I can still recall in childhood memories, the old radio advertising spots using the Pearson Ford slogan “see Peterson Ford. They stand alone at Fairmont and El Cajon“

And then the idea finally came to me and hit home. I can re-create interwoven memories into what is remembered in a dream and re-examine if indeed, my memories are correct not withstanding any confabulation but again remember. Some of the stimuli that were influencing me

What then became apparent are the dream part not necessarily actual facts of my life, but rather the extrapolation of myself into a state of how I used to be and using myself, watching this created itself in the dream and predicting what exactly how I would navigate this particular dream self in the dream in real time and try to remember what it felt like with my older child himself navigating whatever the problem was inside the dream

You could call it the metacognition within a dream that is being observed in real time under conditions that happens well over 55 years ago, which if you think is a very interesting perspective

I guess that’s how my mind works because this is almost a routine for my dreaming states these days

Not only in my fascinated with the results I consist through, but the clarity of those years seems to come flooding back and must need more feedback and input, such as from my brothers experiences during those years to possibly validate and strip away and confabulation or filter as much dreamed, faults appearances of what I actually experienced those many years ago

The application of this process that I seem to be trying to develop for further exploration, seems to be quite a compelling reason for using my imagination, and therefore benefiting from my own artistic expression in writing ability, exploring, not only trying to find truth, but also in discovery of new ideas and ways to look at myself that I have never considered before

 Such as I remember in the dream at a very early age let’s say five years old and I could re-experience let’s say the fear of climbing up a large platform facing a very large community pool like the one in my memory do municipal pool, which may have been in Balboa Park, and I recreated the circumstances for a willingness to try and climb up to the top, but still being exhilarated, excited and even fearful of climbing that high to make the actual dive, and therefore this particular event did happen, but I know I was much older than five but I still re-analyzed and felt how I must have felt when I was a kid when this event actually did happen and that’s I was able to re-examine on a feeling level about the event at the pool being alone with no other person I know helping me only me just me again re-introduced into a real life event that I can again re-examine and think how must I feel this is to say that I again experience these created events as I would have experienced them back in the day and my mind searches and takes another look at how I react how I act how I feel and what comes to Mind during the second time around or if it is an in invented situation I seem to have the ability to ask myself How I would handle this situation during a time I am observing myself from a time that was let’s say 50 years ago, and that is where I find the potential payoff in the exploration of remembered feelings from remembered behaviors from a lifetime ago – the dream provides the context given enough detail from the memory. The dream builds itself around; I can now look into this impression and find the calculus to see how my Tiller character the antagonist of this story will predictively act!