Save Me

Sad Statue



Another addiction to tame

Live in a cage

Delinquent love

A child’s heart cannot mend

Without help from above

Save me

From myself

Heal this disposition

That makes me hate thyself

Save me

I’m lost in the dark

I’m closed off within

Don’t like to talk about

Just where I’ve been


I can play the victim again

The lesson not learned

Continues to haunt you in the end

We all fight battles

Some we cannot win

Some bring us freedom

Some become the linchpin

War with yourself

A foe is not in our thoughts

When you face this truth

Beseech becomes besought

The sorrowful poet

Only empowers

What he gives cadence to

What words are on your altar?


The Currency of Shame

I have a problem

It’s hard for me to say

I keep it hidden from others

The currency of shame in my transactions I pay

The tradegy of friendship

That most of us don’t see

The misplaced attention

The divided loyalties

If we run in a circle

Chase a tiger by the tail

No point A, no point B

Lost on the trail

The dark angel sings

Another life turns down

Caught in a web

Sigh with a frown

We can be surrounded by people

Yet none of them know

The darker secrets

We do not show

Are you aware?

The impression you make?

Upon your peers?

For their sake?

A pale winters day

The leaves fall…

Dried and brown

Another season passes

Another opportunity to be found

I have a problem

It’s hard for me to say

I keep it hidden from others

The currency of shame in my transactions I pay


When the Soul Cries


When the soul cries, our personal tolerance has weathered another trial.  I voice a deeper form of expression that is not just an ordinary form of bereavement, nor is it just another melancholy place or a despondent desolation that is common to many people dealing with a depressed state of mind; The cries of the soul are unique to each and every one of us because we all have different ways of dealing with this inner pain.  The human condition gives us an infinite number of examples in which we bring ourselves down to a primal form of mortification.  There are many reasons for the soul’s demarcation of this circumstance.  Every single human being has experienced something that they can all share among the community because we are all part of a feeling, emoting, thinking, people.  We are reactive beings.

When we do not receive the essential and fundamental communicative expressions of human needs from others, our inner selves want to burst out and scream to the world even if we close ourselves off and say or do nothing.  If you look closely enough, “we cannot not communicate.”  The first principle I learned in a speech communications class which profoundly changed my life was that we as humans are expressive and our inner selves will always show signs (even if it is the micro-expressions on our faces that many people do not notice).  This first principle deliberated by Paul Watzlawick (July 25, 1921 – March 31, 2007)  an Austrian-American family therapist, psychologist, communications theorist, and philosopher.  A theoretician in communication theory and radical constructivism, he commented in the fields of family therapy and general psychotherapy.  Watzlawick believed that people create their own suffering in the very act of trying to fix their emotional problems.  He was one of the most influential figures at the Mental Research Institute and lived and worked in Palo Alto, California.

One cannot not communicate: Every behavior is a form of communication. Because behavior does not have a counterpart (there is no anti-behavior), it is impossible not to communicate.  Even if communication is being avoided (such as the unconscious use of non-verbals or symptom strategy), that is a form of communication. “Symptom strategy” is ascribing our silence to something beyond our control and makes no communication impossible.  Examples of symptom strategy are sleepiness, headaches, and drunkenness.  Even facial expressions, digital communication, and being silent can be analyzed as communication by a receiver.

If we give credence to this principle, than I would like to direct the reader next to Abraham Maslow and his model of Human Hierarchy of Needs.

Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
We are expressive creatures.  We create artistic expression and have a complex language that allows us to communicate in intricate ways.  Maslow contended that we cannot reach a higher level on the needs hierarchy if are lower needs are not being met.  It is my belief that when we do not have enough support in some of our psychological struggles, we will stir until we express ourselves in some way; a signal to the world that we are in some vexing situation that will lead us to cry out and emote this hardship.  Our cognitive skill in negotiating this dilemma is ours to take ownership of.  Sometimes we just cannot think or feel our way out of it.  The cognitive dissonance will drive us to emote a message.

We find many examples of expression through music and the arts.  Just some of the many instances where we can voice an inner dimension that can touch people on deeper levels.  We can see when the soul cries out in a blues song and when the soul sings rejoicing in a happy ephemeral moment!  Both polar dimensions that can have powerful expressive abilities but by in large they originate from the inner sanctions of the soul.

I use the soul as defined including our emotive expressive abilities along with our rational thinking abilities.  We cannot treat the human being on just the logical rationale because we are more than just rational beings.  We are feeling and expressive beings that have multi-variables in determining our conditioning and outcomes of behavior.

Each of us has an expressive nature that is determined by our level of skill in communicating the outcome.  It may seem that some of us are just quiet people who do not flex these expressive emotional and cognitive muscles which may seem true, but on deeper levels I theorize that we all have this expressive nature, and some are better at concealing it than others.  If Paul Watzlawick’s principle is true, than only people close to the less expressive people may be able to find their subtler forms of expressive communications.


When the soul cries

When the soul cries

The expressive nature of all

When the soul cries

Another gloomy day, another gloomy call

Money’s tight

It’s cold outside

Can’t pay my rent

Gotta swallow my pride

Broken romance

Can’t fix my car

Misunderstood relationships

Better wish on a shooting star

Chances are dim

If I keep on this path

Break my silence

Or face the wrath

Outta luck

Outta time

Forever in ruin

Brother can you spare a dime?

We all have needs

We all need hope

Faith and love

Gotta have these to cope

So if you see me

And I’m in despair

How will I tell you?

How will you care?

When we see what we want

We don’t see the whole

Only part of the picture

Only part of the soul



I’m caught in a place

Deep and dark inside

Nowhere to go

Nowhere to hide

Alone and conflicted

Lines on my face

A fractured awareness

It’s not a good place


I cannot see

Beyond the self

Beyond my own need

I’m self-absorbed

Don’t count on me

Can’t free myself

Wouldn’t you agree

My friends try and tell me

You don’t step on hollowed ground

Another judgement played

Another judgement found

Don’t walk thru this life

And disregard the rest

When we see all as part of one

We see all are put to the test


I cannot see

Beyond the self

Beyond my need

I’m self-absorbed

Don’t count on me

Can’t free myself

wouldn’t you agree

Pay attention of those around us

Even the blind man sees

Another man’s misfortune

Another man’s pleas

We all seek belonging

We all share this creed

So why do we stray away?

Why do we indeed?




Wounded at Heart


Wounded at heart

Spirit retreats in shock

Thoughts become twisted

Another lost lamb in the flock

The cries from the child

A family possibly ignores

Turns silent with age

As the embers of rage continue to burn in the forge

Arrested development

For those afflicted seldom refrain from

Escaping the servitude of

A life filled with pain and shame

The past is gone

But shadows still remain

Keeping us from healing

The wages of sin

The siege of a new campaign

The trespasses of others 

Made not from malice

They are not wicked

Only unaware,a bit rude, a bit callous

We curse at the world

When all is said and done

But the trouble begins

When you think only of yourself

A futile cry for help

A chaos felt next to none




Battlefields of the Mind

mossyangelIf we do things that are enjoyable, then we usually find our time spent delightful, hence our affability quotient is enhanced.  Our happiness closely correlates in this relationship.  On the other hand, when we find that we have little to look forward to, we then see a negative correlation, and our happiness quotient is greatly impeded.  When we find that the things we like to do diminishes, we may have embitterment’s not fully reconciled.

When you have nothing to look forward to, you have very little to save you from pulling yourself up to see clearly.  We become lost in the haze of a battle within. There are forces that keep us from doing things we enjoy, injuries that prevent us from enabling us to do a physical activity, perhaps our health is besieged by some ailment, or we surrender to some fear that prevents us from going forward with an activity?  The misfortune of many circumstances that keep us from a treasured result can have tragic repercussions!  A battle is being waged!

Think of World War I: you’re in the trenches with other diverging souls just trying to survive.  I use the metaphor about being in the trenches because in a battlefield; scrambling around in routines that are essential only to your survival can be observed.  (WWI trenches were dug and the soldiers would stay in them avoiding enemy fire, before the advance of enemy soldiers would make them move, or possibly the shells of artillery fired at them).  The front is where many of these battles took place, with trenches dug to escape with life and limb.  Avoiding the bullet onslaught or cannon fodder that would rip into flesh as bones shattered and tore through organs whilst the blood would spill.  Sometimes we lead ourselves into a series of events that we must take an action, if we do not, we may instead mimic the leaves blowing in a random direction from the wind over the landscape.

The picture painted above is all too real for those that experienced WW I.  Possibly one of your grandfathers, or great grandfathers served under such conditions.  I paint this visceral picture in contrast with another reality; one that has direct implications to a mind under assault.  The contrast to any action willed, the opposite of any action either becomes catatonic in its reaction or a paralysis of the will may come to be if intense loss is experienced.  Take a moment and think on some activity that brings you great pleasure, something you have become good in doing, and has given you some esteem in the presence of your friends.  Now consider you cannot again take part in this activity.

Extrapolate this experience to many other kinds of activities that you were once able to do, and it gave you a freedom, it gave you an immense enjoyment that is very hard to put into words.  Think of all the people that suffer from not being able to act on their will, that they have an understanding that much of their activities must now be supervised, or that can no longer do what they once could do.  A broken back, the loss of sight, a heart condition, or maybe simply just an age that cannot be ignored.

We all may have experienced something joyful, that we can no longer participate in on a similar level, or on some other related activity due to many impediments.  The tragic consequences we may lead ourselves into after the recognition sets in and we realize that we can no longer do, act on, or take part in on some rudimentary level is heart breaking.  This is the extreme example for a case to be made about apathy, and the psychological carnage it can lead us into.  We have the ability to overcome, we have the ability to find other activities that can bring us joy and make some niche for ourselves once again during times of tribulation.

But knowing this possibility, many of us find little solace in other activities.  Many of us become jaded and bitter, and do not see past the nose on our faces.  Where would we be if we lose the ability to adapt, change and improvise?  The power to heal our spirits and meet the world head on again comes from trials of failures that we learn as we continue our experimentation in finding hope.

For some people, they don’t try to embrace new experiences given their abilities and aimlessly wander.  They often continue to lay in the trenches, not finding out that the war has ended, and they become ghosts of the past, clinging on to old notions of who they are, what they represent, or how they should fit in, (left country-less, pledging no allegiance to the victor of the outcome, and trapped into the past).  Maybe they fixate on a time they identify with, so when things change, circumstances change, they become alienated and do not know how to move on from past perspectives?

The analogy can lead us to think on our own situations.  How do we relate when we have lost our way when change takes its hold over our lives?  When we cannot look forward to a once cherished pastime?  When we have nothing to look forward to, when we trap ourselves in a pastime that we can no longer take part in, how do we react?  It is very sad, but I think we find ourselves somewhat like the shell-shocked soldier who is petrified and does nothing to change their situation.  They remain in the psychological trench they have dug out, and simply wait!  They do not seek out new avenues, (or trenches for that matter), and remain in a perpetual disillusionment.  Until they reach for help, they may just be psychological cannon fodder that takes up their time on an internal battlefield of the mind.

Have you experienced a loss in your life that has dramatically changed the way you can function?  Are you handicapped, or can you relate to getting yourself stuck into a rut of denial that prevents you from moving on with your life?  Are you in angst because you once could do something you love, and no longer have anything that gives you such joy, thus you are trapped remembering the past and your former enjoyments doing them?

If this is the case then can you empathize with a person who seems terminally locked into a psychological paralysis that will forever keep them into a state of catatonic ruin?  We can heal, but effort on our part must be taken.  We cannot survive by living in the past, we must reach for new challenges,  despite the gloomy conditions we lock ourselves into.  It is a very bleak world when we give up on having anything to look forward to.  This means that no matter the time sequence; a day, a week, a month, or a year, we must all reach for something new to shed light on our captive spirits.  The frustration and dire consequences may result in not being able to appreciate the diminutive pleasures in one’s life.  If we do not awaken from our slumbers, than we may have some opportunity by watching our fellow captive soldiers in the trenches around us to spark or ignite new ways to try!


A Beacon of Tears

Brother why did you leave me

I’m feeling down and have nowhere to turn

You walked away I’ve no place to stay

The monsters out but I can’t seem to shout so I’ll just lead myself astray

Mother why did you leave me

I needed your protection from the monster within

You were afraid but did not say

You too were in the clutches of thIs foreboding sin

Father why did you forsake me

I’m innocent and I’ve nowhere to turn

The sins of our fathers hold no boundaries nor does conscience remain

The pain runs deep and continues to burn with distain

Daughter why have you left me

You were my only light

My grief has paralyzed and stricken me

Once again I am alone in this fight