The journey of the forsaken 

The journey of the forsaken

As children, they learn to self soothe

After years of neglect

Predisposed to seek validation, forever having to prove

A forsaken child

A silent crime

The pain and suffering

They withhold the signs

Someone will break the cycle

Someone will break the chain

Some will hide away

Always having to endure the pain

When the most powerful human emotion

Is suppressed and shoved into a closed box

When you can’t express love

And treat your children like they have smallpox

Given the severity

You may have to self regulate

Trick your nervous system

In order to satiate

In the self-imposed prison we call trauma

We are the inmate and simultaneously the guard

Never knowing we hold the keys to the cell

And the keys to the yard

It might take decades

Or maybe some therapy

Before we unleash the Kraken

Into the social emotional sea

You may fear rejection

You may fear intimacy

You may shut out the world around you

You may avoid any reciprocity

Do you feel unworthy?

Do you feel shame?

Do you push away emotionally available people?

And then tell them that you are to blame?

Many never see their attachment style

Dismissive-avoidant, anxious- attachment, fearful-avoidant and the like

Many won’t climb the mountain of self reflection

Many won’t take this hike

Change is possible

We can recalibrate a deep trauma of emotional recovery

From pain to loneliness to forgiveness to courage 

Now it is only me that has to open up and see

DCG

Don’t kick me when I’m down

Think you’re giving tough love

Are you dismissive?

Do you pre-judge?

Don’t kick me when I’m down

You act like you know all the answers

And treat me like a clown

You become angry and intolerant

Don’t kick me when I’m down

You think that I am stupid

Not really knowing my pain and suffering

I feel belittled and helpless

As I am not fully functioning

You presume I have normal circumstance

Despite the signs clearly before you

If only you pay attention

Then maybe you would change your view

Don’t attack my ability

Put me on the defense

Don’t trivialize my problem

It only makes it more intense

Even accounting the conversation

Leaves me with a frown

As the memory of this relationship

Kicks me when I’m down

When you feel insignificant

Drowning in troubles all around

Don’t feed the wrong energy

Don’t kick me when I’m down

Don’t preach to me with disapproval

Don’t you dare make a sound

I can’t take any more grief

Don’t kick me on the ground

DCG

Which will be the albatross?

Life is too precious

For us to throw away

Yet many of us suffer

When we contemplate suicide by the end of the day

Even the moon

Will shine at night

In the dark shadow of emotion and reason

As darkness is the absence of light

How do we procure

A well balanced soul?

How do we parent?

How do we console?

We must cultivate character

Establish a code of morality

Learn how to forgive ourselves and others

To keep our sanity

The weight of the world is upon you

Tension and pressure will build inside

Are you motivated to take positive action?

Are you relegated to ignore and hide?

Life provides us with challenges

Sloth and apathy a tradition of loss

Which will change a circumstance?

Which will be the albatross?

DCG

Did you live up to the Forecast?

Writing down my thoughts

I Journal them in code

Keeping secrets to myself

watching this mind erode

In courage and sincerity

It doesn’t always turn out right

When approaching a truthful account

We sometimes cower in its sight

Yet we must come to terms

With the failures from our past

Whether we confront them head-on now

Or whether we allow them to fester and last

What we tend to follow

Is what we tend to believe

How we write it down

Relies on what we preconceive

Consider reading your journal

From twenty years ago

How do you fare?

Did you eat crow?

Memory and cognitive dissonance

Shows written word as evident

Have you ever really changed?

Is this why you are so petulant?

Finding out about yourself

From another self of the past

Isn’t really a bad thing

Did you live up to the forecast?

DCG

A Prayer to Rescind

A grieving lonely sod

Whispers silently in the wind

Heard only by the angels

A prayer to rescind

Abandoned house

Sits on a hill

built long ago

Are there memories that dwellith still?

Modest furniture

Much in disrepair

A family gone away

Leaves no laughter there

The last owner spent his money

Upgrades to a sorrowful house

Neither spending time with his children

Neither spending time with his spouse

This home was his castle

Attributing higher value to it then his kin

A bewitchment of the Devil?

A bewitchment from narcissistic whim?

The wares of our deception

Account for much of the blame

Whom will take any account?

Whom will take any shame?

Beseech the broken-hearted

Only the down-trodden know

This cumbersome attachment

A broken family can bestow


DCG

The Thing about Self-Reliance


innocence is taken

A worldview now changed

Conflict we create

Conflict we sustain

There are no shadows in the darkness

They only appear in the spotlight

Memories go undisturbed

If they remain out of our sight

We blindfold ourselves

The hard truths that we have forgotten

This doesn’t take the sting away

Out of the misbegotten

I need your support

I can’t see the light anymore

I’m surrounded by this darkness

Can’t find my way to the door

The thing about self-reliance

We sometimes lose our way

The solace we seek is hidden

Beneath the pain in our decay

We hide this from those around us

Family, friends, and our workmates

Only to endure this suffering

A dark force within that resonates

The awakening to tip the scale

Can always be found in this daze

Allow yourself to be in the present

The past is but a fog and a haze

The choice becomes right before us

With every breath and every step we take

Walk in the light of our knowing

That this path is ours to make


DCG

House of Cards


I’ve paid my debt

My patience my coin

Taxed on the outcome

My friend chaos I rejoin

How to replace the adversity we face?

Dissolution of our expectations

The silent tears leave no trace

Disquietude is clear no songbirds do we hear

The grays dominate

The grays begin to appear

Misfortune is met with an unchanging mindset

A tailspin attached

Down an alley with no outlet

A house of cards

Built by a stack that is balanced and displayed

Won’t win the game from the suit and hand underneath that is played

If I had to wager

One thing is for sure

There is no certainty

In the probably of a life

That is insecure

At the quantum level

Heraclitus was right

A metaphysics in flux

A human intuition to excite

DCG

Lost in the Oak Barrel

 

A pitted cherry

Lost in the oak barrel

Picked at a ripe age

Now a life doused in peril

The beauty appears

Before our eyes

But after a life of drinking

Now a life to agonize

When you live with the bottle

The creature now that befalls him

The corruption of a soul

Much like JRR’s Gollum

Some people choose

To self-medicate

Unable to reach for the sky

Unable to levitate

Fall to the ground

Ashes to ashes-dust to dust

Grasping the soil

Can’t let go of this crutch

Me-thinks my smile

My body will seduce

I make no atonement’s

No longer a body can reproduce

The temptress awaits

The lonely heart is prey

Take heed ye Samaritans

To all she conveys

Wise book once told me

More flesh more worms

Consider the company

Consider the germs

From the cradle to the casket

What are the secrets we take to the grave?

Are you now thinking twice?

Have you asked a priest to be saved?


DCG

 

 

 

 

Chasing a Ghost


Chasing a ghost

Illusive to trap

Illusive to find

Too much clutter

In a shackled mind

The word soup of a poet

The word games the philosophers create

The scribes of the prophet

All trying to relate

Strip away all the distraction

All the misdirection to the root

Finding the truth about anything

Is a task with no absolute

A brilliant creature

Of all pedigree

Finds no liberation

From the puzzles of the psyche

Apparition of thought

In the light of the day

Paradox in motion

Watch the humans play

Misunderstood

Neglecting humanity’s calling

Too few have distilled the graces

The factor that prevents most of our falling

Chasing a ghost

The cause for a false positive

Another notch etched in the wood

Guess it’s just another prerogative


DCG

Whom Among Us

It’s pretty tricky

This life that I lead

Haunted by the memories

Unforgiven for past misdeeds

I think it’s safe to assert

I am not alone

The honest disenchanted

And those who must atone

The mind will resist

All the internal pain

Faulty logic diverts from guilt

Faulty logic diverts from shame

The intolerable truth

That some may make claim

The sociopathic’s proclivity

On the affected one’s disdain

To face the world again

The twelve steps you take

Only save a few

From their self-imposed heartache

The fact to consider

The fact we can take away

The challenge for every heart to give of itself

And forgive each other st the end of the day

The complexity in life

Often exposes us to threats

Some we escape from

Some we may have regrets

Learning by trial and error

Mistakes will be made

Some sorrows will accumulate

Some sorrows will fade

Before you cast your judgements

And all witness accounts are in

Whom among us will forgive?

Whom among us will begin?


DCG