The echo of your retreat 

I wake inside the echo of your retreat.
My pulse shakes loose against your silence.
Each word you withhold feels bittersweet.
I build my hope inside your distance.

My body remembers before my mind.
The hunger for warmth, the fear of loss.
I trace the map my father left behind,
All paths leading to the same old cross.

I study the ache, name it like science.
“Anxious attachment,” the doctors say.
But naming won’t cleanse this defiance—
The boy in me still pleads you to stay.

You vanish behind your practiced calm.
I chase the ghost of something kind.
Your quiet feels like an open palm,
And I mistake it for the love I can’t find.

I bargain with the wind for one last sign.
A text, a glance, a crack in your wall.
Yet every gesture I claim as mine
Falls like rain in an empty hall.

My logic knows where this road bends.
It loops back to the father’s stare—
The eyes that never warmed, the love that ends,
The lesson that healing is loving with care.

So I turn the lens onto myself.
I become my own experiment and prayer.
I dust the cobwebs off the shelf
Where I left forgiveness, waiting there.

You, too, are tangled in your flight.
We orbit hurt, unwilling to land.
Our tenderness survives the night,
Though we touch through trembling hands.

I will not run from what is raw.
Nor drown this need in endless chase.
Love is not repair—it is what I saw,
When I held my wounds and gave them grace.

So I reach, still, but now within.
My pulse steadies with honest will.
The cycle breaks where I begin—
Forgiving what I cannot heal.


RSP

DCG

Screenshot

Life hack #7

What we run from pursues us

And what we face transforms us

— unknown —

DCG

Screenshot

And so you run 

Your behavior has consequences

You’ve made your choice

Only when the silence screams 

This clarity gives you your voice

I haven’t given up on you

You are emotionally autistic because of your childhood wounds

It was you who gave up on you 

 You only know how to push away and this is what seems to loom 

I want to be in your life

However, you cannot fathom anyone else to be in it

And so you run

And so you dismiss it 

The only way for you to heal

Is take accountability

Your fear is your master

It rules your mind of fragility

Your words cut like knives

It takes time for me to heal

When your own fear shields you from your own behavior

I can only guarantee that I do feel

If only you could honestly look into the mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall

When the truth is revealed 

There’s nothing left to do but fall

Clearly as you put it

“I’m not your jam“

You seemed to have plenty of boyfriends who don’t seem to care

Whether you speak about yourself or whether you clam

At any moment of intimacy

You freeze up, ignore and distract

You build the wall, stop listening, and divert your attention

You pull me around the dark street like a ragdoll and complain that I’m not keeping your wrist intact

Because I don’t see well

Doesn’t mean I don’t see deeply within you

Do you try to intentionally humiliate me?

Is this something you try to do?

My silence will be loudest

When I have to walk away

I need to heal

Which means if you don’t try to heal , then I cannot stay

I don’t give up easily

That’s not something I do

If you cannot commit to healing

Then I guess I’m not for you

I’ve seen both sides of you

A heart that wants to feel and has needs

And a heart that you lock away

But buried within you it still pleads

RSP

DCG

Screenshot

I want you to know 

I want you to know

If you ever need space

Just give me a heads up

I’ll give you grace

If you need to be alone

If you need to decompress and regulate

I’ll respect your wish

I won’t hesitate

I want to communicate

I think I understand

I’m sure this will work, no, I know that it can

RSP

DCG

Screenshot

We speak in circles


We speak in circles to appear profound.
Our logic wobbles, yet we stand our ground.
.
We color words in ideological hue.
Then swear the tint itself makes truth come through.
.
We point at straw men, watch them burn with ease.
Declare our virtue on the social breeze.
.
A sound bite dances, dressed in formal wear.
It struts through headlines, basking in hot air.
.
What’s substance now, if phrased in clever jest?
The form is worshiped, meaning dispossessed.
.
Ad hominem, our daily bread of spite.
A tasty feast where reason loses sight.
.
We sculpt our arguments with plastic grace.
A smile can hide the cracks beneath the face.
.
Emotion rules — the crowd will cheer or boo.
For truth is dull; they want a bolder view.
.
We weaponize the clause, distort the clause.
Applause! Applause! We never mind the cause.
.
Our graphs and charts perform a masquerade.
They bow to bias, empirically unfrayed.
.
False syllogisms waltz across the floor.
They lead the blind to claim they see much more.
.
We duel with data mined from murky swamps.
Each swamp, of course, is where belief still romps.
.
Oh sophist, patron saint of every spin.
You teach us how to lose and call it win.
.
We say “both sides” while hiding in the smoke.
The middle burns — the audience the joke.
.
We love our tribal logos, neat and bright.
They glow so much we never see the night.
.
And through it all, intent becomes disguise.
We sell mistruths, then buy our own supplies.
.
But under rhetoric’s perfumed deceit,
There lies a hunger simple and discreet.
.
To speak in clarity — to shape a thought.
Free from deceit, unbent, unsold, unbought.
.
Let language serve to forge the lucid flame.
To name the world, not gild it with acclaim.
.
For truth requires no costume, mask, or fight.
It stands in humble syllables of light.
.
And should we seek to truly solve, not sway,
We’ll drop the tricks — and plainly say our say.

DCG

Screenshot

You walked in

You walked into my small day and made the room feel wide. .
I saw in your easy smile the world I never had to hide. .
.
You asked a simple question and listened like it mattered. .
My fear was still in pieces but my shame was less scattered. .
.
I learned that how I see you is also how I see me. .
If I look through hurt and judgment, I call comfort an enemy. .
.
So I started to choose my lens like a craftsman with his wood. .
Shaping quiet acts of kindness into something fierce and good. .
.
You taught me that a gentle word can shift a heavy night. .
That one soft act of noticing can turn regret to light. .
.
But love is not a rescue line that pulls you from your pain. .
It’s a bridge laid board by board, in sun and in the rain. .
.
I hammered down my boundaries on the bank where I still stand. .
Not a wall to keep you out, but a line drawn by my hand. .
.
I will not build on quicksand just to keep you by my side. .
I can hold you with an open palm and still protect my pride. .
.
I’ve walked on eggshells long enough to know what they become. .
A carpet made of fragments that keeps both our voices numb. .
.
So I speak with kinder honesty, even when your armor shakes. .
I will not call it loving when it only feeds our breaks. .
.
You circle at your end of things, afraid the boards will fall. .
You test each step with stories of the ones who broke it all. .
.
You want me to grow tired first, to prove the world untrue. .
To leave you in your loneliness so it never leaves you too. .
.
But I stay without possession, I remain without demand. .
I refuse to crush my spirit just to prove I understand. .
.
Forgiveness is the quiet work I do when you withdraw. .
Not a door you have to walk through, but a shelter that I saw. .
.
I forgive the words you sharpened just to see if I would flee. .
I forgive the glass you carry, though it still might cut on me. .
.
Because someone once forgave me when I shattered what we had. .
They held their ground with tenderness and refused to call me bad. .
.
That mercy lit a lantern in the hallway of my chest. .
It showed me how a weary soul can learn a different rest. .
.
So now when I say your name, I feel both ache and grace. .
You are wound and inspiration, you are loss and you are place. .
.
You brought out in me a courage I thought only saints could show. .
To love without erasing me, to stay and still let go. .
.
If you ever cross this bridge, it will be by your own will. .
You will find no chains to bind you here, just a quiet heart made still. .
.
And if you never cross at all, this work will not be waste. .
The craft I learned in loving you will frame another’s taste. .
.
For every soul that trembles at the thought of being known. .
I keep this sturdy bridge of mine, from all the hurt I’ve grown. .
.
And when they walk with shaking steps, afraid that love won’t stay. .
I’ll remember how you taught me to see wonder in the day. .
.
The meaning of our story is not only what we lose. .
It’s the quiet, fierce decision of the lens that we still choose. .

RSP

DCG

Screenshot

It resonates as we

I make this vow

I take this pledge

I say the prayer

You might say I’m crazy for you or so it’s alleged

I bare my soul

I freely give

Together side-by-side

I hope you and I can live

I have reached an age

My heart has matured

There is no path I will tread

Without you being assured

 I now know what is important

I now know what I will fight for

 Take my hand on this journey

And let us open the door 

I know this world is unpredictable

But somehow, I see in you what I see in me

I don’t think it’s accidental

When joined together it resonates as we

But even the adults have fairytales

We must be aware and work this out

if and only if you can join me

The boundary must stand and have clout 

RSP

DCG

Screenshot

The Genesis of a passion 

Poem inspired by “The Genesis of a Passion”

I did not see it coming, just a flicker in the storm. .

But something in that quiet ache began to change my form. .

.

I walked with borrowed reasons, secondhand and neatly filed. .

Yet one small wound refused to heal, and that is where it riled. .

.

It pressed against my ribcage like a question said in prayer. .

A restless, low insistence: “There is something growing there.” .

.

I tried to drown it in the noise of clever books and plans. .

But still it burned behind my eyes and trembled in my hands. .

.

Some nights I traced the fault lines of the life I might have led. .

And found a hidden pathway running backward through my dread. .

.

Was it that first betrayal, or the silence at the table? .

Or seeing someone shattered who was told they should be able? .

.

Perhaps it was a kindness that arrived when I was broken. .

A stranger’s steady presence like a living, wordless token. .

.

Whatever its first ember, I could never name the start. .

I only know it tightened like a vow around my heart. .

.

It taught me how our suffering can rip the seams of sleep. .

Until we turn and face the place where memories cut deep. .

.

There, in the dim anatomy of what we’ve learned to hide. .

A quiet fire assembles from the ruins we survived. .

.

I found myself defending those who shook the way I shook. .

As if my chest became a door instead of just a book. .

.

My questions grew more tender, less obsessed with being right. .

I wanted more to stay with you than win another fight. .

.

This passion was not glamour, not a spotlight’s hungry beam. .

It was a long apprenticeship to one unfinished theme. .

.

The theme that every human life is more than what was done. .

And no one should be measured by the damage when they’re young. .

.

So I began to listen to the faulted and the frail. .

To stories that the polished world preferred to call a fail. .

.

I saw my own reflection in the shiver of their voice. .

And realized that loving them was also my own choice. .

.

Yet choice and calling tangled like two rivers in a flood. .

I followed where it pulled me through the silt of grief and blood. .

.

It cost me easy comfort, simple answers, shallow peace. .

But in that costly territory, something found release. .

.

I watched my guarded certainties collapse into the sea. .

And from the shards a gentler, braver self looked back at me. .

.

To carry such a passion is to walk with open scars. .

To let your past illuminate, not just predict, who you are. .

.

It asks you not to worship it, nor chain yourself in pain. .

But use the hurt you once endured to shelter others’ rain. .

.

Now when I feel that trembling where the earliest echoes live. .

I hold it like a lantern that was always meant to give. .

.

I think of how your own life hides a seed you barely see. .

Some moment that still follows you, still shaping who you’ll be. .

.

Maybe it was a heartbreak, or a teacher’s single word. .

A book that found you wandering, a melody you heard. .

.

You do not have to solve it, draw a diagram of why. .

Just notice how it moves you when another’s eyes are dry. .

.

For passion’s first genealogy is written in your chest. .

In every time you could have left and yet you did your best. .

.

So ask yourself, in mercy, what first taught your soul to burn. .

And let that hidden genesis become the way you turn. .

.

Perhaps tonight in thinking of the origins you’ve known. .

You’ll find the tender starting point of what you call your own. .

.

And in that soft admission, like a long-forgotten dawn. .

You’ll see the quiet passion that has led you all along. .

DCG

Life hack #6

Ignoring, or avoiding is a pernicious kind of sloth

If it becomes a habit

You might always be lost

DCG

A solution revisited 

The post “The solution of humanity” wrestles with the limits of human wisdom, the wounds of the past, and the failure of purely human projects to heal the soul, before finally resting in Christ as the only sufficient answer to our fractured condition. The poem below echoes that narrative arc: beginning with a wide search through world philosophies and faiths, then moving toward a distinctly Christian claim about grace, forgiveness, and the cross as the true quintessence of our humanity.


.
I knelt before the sutras, drinking silence from their well. .
The Dhammapada whispered: “Guard your mind, it fashions heaven, it fashions hell.” .
.
I traced the Tao in rivers, where the yielding waters wind. .
Lao Tzu sang of nameless Way, of empty bowls that feed the mind. .
.
I bowed with old Confucius, where propriety patrols desire. .
He spoke of ordered families, of ritual that tempers fire. .
.
I walked with dusty sadhus where the Ganges stains the feet. .
They murmured of samsara’s wheel, of breaking from repeat. .
.
I sat with Zen companions, watching thoughts like passing rain. .
Koans cracked my logic’s shell, yet could not rinse my shame and pain. .
.
These giants lit the mountains, each a lantern in the night. .
Still some cavern in my marrow shivered far from any light. .
.
For every path said, “Discipline,” and every sage said, “Try.” .
Yet my will, a tired animal, only knew how to comply or to defy. .
.
Reason built its scaffolds, stacked hypotheses like stone. .
But proof could not absolve me for the harm I’d done alone. .
.
Some problems yield to data, to equations crisp and clean. .
But guilt is not a theorem, and grief is not a faulty gene. .
.
I argued evolution with the fierce, design with trembling friends. .
Yet neither camp could teach my fractured heart how any story ends. .
.
The quintessential question haunted every night I couldn’t sleep. .
Not “What is true in abstract?” but “Who can reach me when I’m deep?” .
.
My childhood was a fracture, love withheld and love misused. .
A narcissistic mirror where my fledgling trust was bruised. .
.
Neglect became my liturgy; I worshiped every fleeting nod. .
Attachment wired my nervous system tighter than a rod. .
.
I sought in crowds a savior made of status, touch, and praise. .
But idols built of aching need devoured me in subtle ways. .
.
I preached forgiveness to myself, a law I could not keep. .
“Let go, move on, be strong,” I said, then sobbed myself to sleep. .
.
I tried to earn absolution, to deserve another start. .
But merit is a cruel god when you have a trembling heart. .
.
Then the scandal of a cross cut straight across my schemes. .
Not as mythic consolation, but as judgment of my dreams. .
.
A God who enters trauma, not to sanitize the scar. .
Who hangs between the guilty thieves and calls them from afar. .
.
“Father, forgive,” was uttered where the nails made muscle tear. .
Not after we improved ourselves, but while we mocked Him there. .
.
If there is any solution to this species, wild and torn. .
It will not rise from self-help shelves or from the newest creed reborn. .
.
It comes as undeservedness, an offense to every pride. .
The Holy kneels in blood and dust and stands up on my side. .
.
Grace is not a concept but a Person with a wound. .
The Logos wearing human skin, in borrowed grave entombed. .
.
Resurrection is no metaphor for “try again once more.” .
It is the shattering of final loss, the opening of a door. .
.
In Christ, the moral ledger is not erased by lie. .
It’s paid in full by One who chose to feel my failure die. .
.
Buddha showed the craving flame, the Tao its gentle flow. .
Christ walked straight into my hatred and refused to let me go. .
.
Confucius framed our duties, and the sages mapped the mind. .
But only pierced hands reached the child that history left behind. .
.
The solution of humanity is not that we advance. .
It’s that the Author joins the story and is broken in our trance. .
.
Forgiveness is not weakness, nor denial dressed as peace. .
It is cruciform surrender where the cycles slowly cease. .
.
To love the unlovable is the line I cannot cross. .
Until I see myself there too, forgiven from that cross. .
.
Then enemy and victim blur beneath that rugged sign. .
I stand as both, yet strangely held in mercy’s grand design. .
.
The quintessential attribute our arguments misname. .
Is not our clever reason, but a Love that bears our blame. .
.
So here I lay my systems down, my proof, my pride, my role. .
And rest in One solution: a wounded God who makes a whole. .

DCG