Scar tissue 

Scar Tissue


I wait beneath the weight of hollow years,


the silence burns a prayer into my chest.


Your shadow quivers where the light appears,


I ache in faith, though faith is put to test.


I trace the echo of your turning face,


each time you flee, I find no ground to stand.


The past still hums—a ghost I can’t erase,


a trembling heart still reaching out a hand.


You hide behind your walls of hardened glass,


pretending you were never made to need.


While I am caught in memories that pass,


their thorns still teaching me how hearts can bleed.


The nights collapse with whispers of your name,


and hope becomes both comfort and disease.


I’ve learned that healing doesn’t mean the same


as finding peace—it asks a harder peace.


I see the child in you that never spoke,


the small defense that shields you from my care.


The boy in me still breathes beneath the smoke,


unlearning how to vanish into air.


If grace is measured by the ones who stay,


then mine was forged in storms I could not leave.


I pray the wind will bend your ribs someday,


and teach you how the broken still believe.


Because this bond was never born of choice,


but tethered in the hunger of the scar.


I hear redemption trembling in your voice,


but silence always tells me where we are.


You fear that love will drown you where you stand,


while I fear losing what was never mine.


Each moment drips like blood between my hands,


as faith and grief braid tight around the spine.


I’ve watched your eyes turn distant, cold with doubt,


but underneath I feel the buried prayer.


There is no healing if we cast it out,


so I remain, though absence fills the air.


I can’t repair the child who hides in you,


but I can hold the ache without demand.


If miracles are what the broken do,


I’ll wait for God to place them in your hand.


This scar—our mirror—shines where pain had fed,


reminding me that loss can still renew.


And even if the path is lined with dread,


I’ll walk it still, until it leads to you.

RSP

DCG

I’m trying to seek approval

I am trying to seek approval

Because of my father‘s love I never had

He neglected my feelings

I grew up, emotionally fractured, broken, and sad

This is very common

People form a trauma bond

The underlying attraction they feel

Is a masquerade and is still wrong

The familiarity in attachment theory

Has profound implications

Deeply embedded into our  intimacy responses 

Within our primary relations

the more I have studied this behavior

The deepest silent anguish of misery

From those who do not even recognize their condition

will continue to commiserate on their injury

The abhorrent parenting practices

Leave their forsaken children in emotional chains

The atrocious mothers and fathers

Will never see their own children’s pain

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https://youtube.com/shorts/krrUECw1Vkw?si=7R_0Wiz8jvGgcJHa

RSP

DCG

See John Bowlby‘s work on attachment theory

See spark growth on YouTube 

@sparkgrowthofficial 

Breathe deeply

Release of anxiety

Release of any trauma

Forgiveness must be made

To let go of any drama

Breathe deeply

Pain has an unrelenting hold

Have faith to let go

Face the truth or so I am told 

Maybe it’s denial

Not facing up to your pain

Using a bad coping strategy

Going around and around again

For the avoidant

They will rarely ever learn

If you keep yourself busy enough to make a turn

You will always yearn

Sometimes the child within us

Has never learned to grow

Be very cautious

To those who are unwilling or afraid to show

RSP

DCG

https://youtube.com/shorts/Tr8n-qTfdgI?si=-l216YrIr7N8Kdsd

https://youtube.com/shorts/jOKZc3pu4Tw?si=wn8FzNP_kvjZtfL2

One that we host

Walking on eggshells

Not knowing who to trust

When loneliness meets self-doubt

After two cocktails, you lower your standards and begin to lust

So we dress up, and act clever 

And then we flirt

The person who takes notice

Won’t even be there when you hurt 

Something within us

Drives us to mix and socialize

With our guard rails down

Not sober we will compromise

We reach for the shiny object

That is in the room

Little do we know

More often it turns into gloom

Did we choose wisely?

Only the soul can say

When we rush into excitement

Those feelings sometimes fade away

Off to the bar we go

Not knowing we’re chasing a ghost

One that we have created

And one that we host

RSP

DCG

At the altar of circumstance 

The collateral damage of loneliness

A tariff on the feelings we export

On what principle of this debt do we offend?

On what vice do we subjugate or report?

It’s one thing to know

That you are aware

It’s another thing to not know

As you silently stare

If we negotiate our values

To numb what we feel

What price will we pay?

At the altar of circumstance when we kneel?

“Eleanor Rigby

Died in a church and was buried alone with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie

Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved “

DCG

This emotional embargo 

Just because you can resist the devil

Doesn’t mean you should hang out with him

Take this as a truth

Do not take it on a whim 

It’s easier to avoid temptation

Then it is to resist it

If you don’t want temptation to follow you

Then don’t act like you are interested and just sit 

Because of our loyalty

Because of our doubt

Because of our skepticism

All we can do in this box is burst out 

Our faith will be tested

The appearance of the hardest path to take is not always as clear

The motivation to overcome

May give us a better compass to steer

You can’t purge yourself of feeling

But you can certainly numb

Over time you become bitter and resent

Just what then will we become?

This emotional embargo

We place on others, lovers, and our friends

Just how will we survive?

Just how will our relationships end?

We back ourselves into a corner

There is only one way to move

We must go forward again

Because only our time will prove

it is not as bad as we imagined

We have trapped ourselves in an emotional  cage

We’re spinning our wheels round and round

we must muster the courage for os to wage

RSP

DCG

The questions one must ask

Suffering from the emotional abuse

When a young child is not allowed to cry

Wishing if only

His father would simply just Die!

Old wounds run silent and deep

When a memory of the past

Eclipses your present state

Just how long will this disruption last?

What is adversity?

Is it a certainty?

Maybe even a guarantee?

Does it define us by decree?

Deteriorate

Infuriate

Suffocate

Isolate

When indeed will we learn?

My own prison a captive of my own thought

Both the jailer and the inmate

Is this what my life has brought?

Given the stakes

What must we do?

Pardon the offences?

Follow a moral law that is true?

Where do we draw the line?

How do we measure autonomy?

The questions one must ask

To comport their philosophy

“ The swords of time will peirce our skin

It doesn’t hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger watch it grin “

The currency of knowledge is free

What we don’t squander

If we attend

Only then this wisdom we can ponder

Receptivity is crucial

I think the broken-hearted people would agree

A key will open a door

A light will allow us to see

Manifest change by perception

Attachment of pain from a dream

Is much harder to navigate

When it clearly cannot be seen

DCG

Wallow in the Mire

Ask the right questions

Focus on the good

Knowing that you have been wronged

Won’t matter if this is understood

The best way forward

You must first find your stride

Following the affirmative

Let this be your guide

When you allow the cynical voices

To occupy your mind

You squelch any happiness

That you are willing if able to find

Wallow in the mire

Bespattered with wounded pith

If you remain there too long

A potential to overcome becomes myth

DCG

Police Car One-Zero-Nine

Message in a bottle

Sending out an SOS

Perplexity for Felix

His identity has become detached

Aligning himself with poor choices

Police car one-zero-nine now dispatched

Pent up feelings

Will never cease to rest

Boiling water turns to steam

The heat will burn when this vapor is expressed

Ticking time bomb

The clock tick’s away

Part of the human condition

Tick-Tock; what more do I need to say?

Our capacity for emotion

Great love or great hate

The worst kind of human experience

Apathy eradicates human fate

Both the heart and mind must guide you

Especially of what you feel

The wisdom of this harmony

Is precisely in its appeal


DCG

A Prayer to Rescind

A grieving lonely sod

Whispers silently in the wind

Heard only by the angels

A prayer to rescind

Abandoned house

Sits on a hill

built long ago

Are there memories that dwellith still?

Modest furniture

Much in disrepair

A family gone away

Leaves no laughter there

The last owner spent his money

Upgrades to a sorrowful house

Neither spending time with his children

Neither spending time with his spouse

This home was his castle

Attributing higher value to it then his kin

A bewitchment of the Devil?

A bewitchment from narcissistic whim?

The wares of our deception

Account for much of the blame

Whom will take any account?

Whom will take any shame?

Beseech the broken-hearted

Only the down-trodden know

This cumbersome attachment

A broken family can bestow


DCG