Relationships

Beware the disparager

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Foraging in the garden

Of my thoughts in my mind

Removing the weeds

That leaves me, bitter and unkind

Pruning is essential

For the flora to blossom and grow

Not unlike old painful memories or bad ideas

We should no longer attend to and show

The best practices of living well 

Should be taught to us when we are young

As we mature, we continue to cultivate

This practice should never be undone

Cultivation is more than good manners and etiquette

You must know right from wrong

and just how we are to apply

With our need to belong

I think MLKJ would agree

There is a spectrum of value in the content of our character

Beware the cynic

Beware the disparager

…

DCG

The atrophy of anxiety

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

We don’t have to be afraid of our own shadows

Don’t have to fear what’s under the bed

Part of growing up

Is learning how to get ahead

Anxiety is a misunderstanding of our perceptions

We create the worry, we create the threat

When we find we are wrong

We may then regret

We find security in a teddy bear as children

We find security in healthy relationships as adults

It takes effort and self reflection

Before we can achieve good results

Maturity and experience will mitigate many irrational thoughts

But it is our subconscious that unknowingly steers us

Into internal conflict

And control us it does

Awareness and education

Is the first defense

Now add courage and some luck

Might save you any further suspense

If you are honest with yourself

Then progress you will make

And if you are not genuine

You’re piece of mind is on the take

Self advocate

Learn to self improve

Opportunity to move forward

Is on any day you choose

The atrophy of anxiety

Is ultimately up to you

How are you choose to cope

What you choose to do

…

DCG

The Hornswoggle boondoggle

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When you argue and debate  from confirmation bias

You find opinion that is similar to your own

You then use it as a hive-mind data point

Rather than standing all alone

You can easily find people

Who might likely agree

But this does not prove any argument

So don’t take it from me

Have you ever really noticed?

The political activism on social media

Many people are not purveyors of truth

I know this from common sense and not from any encyclopedia

Copyright law was originally overlooked 

LimeWire , and Napster made it possible to steal

Like social media and political activism -technology allows you a platform but it doesn’t mean you’re right for free speech is welcome if you only advocate senseless division – the case is now on appeal

Please adhere to the rules of engagement

Manners and etiquette are a reasonable request

Don’t babble about the Hornswoggle boondoggle

Or you might be known as a pest

…

DCG

Am I allowed to express what I feel?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I wear an emotional straight jacket

I created on my own

Formed in my childhood

That I learned in my home

My parents were emotionally impoverished

Not really knowing how to emotionally provide

Not knowing how to love

They both suffered inside

Trauma based genealogies

Go back generations in time

However, we break this cycle

We must be patient

We must be kind

When the human spirit is weak

We may be blind

When the human spirit is strong

A path to discovery, we may find

The human bonding hormone is  oxytocin

If we experience trauma, and there is disruption

We must self regulate

if and when you learn your attachment style

Then maybe you will be able to vindicate

If you try to fill an emotional void

That your own mind will create

You may find an endless loop

That will continue to frustrate

Why is it we always seek connection

To undo a never ending hurt?

If aware, we know this won’t work

But we still continue to flirt

So the question now becomes

Just how do I heal?

How do I make things right?

Am I allowed to express what I feel?

RSP

…

DCG

For the answers you must demand

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Self discovery is often impeded

On how we self reflect

Where do we place our attention?

Just exactly what do we inspect?

You might observe what happens around you

You might only think about how it makes you feel

But if you don’t take ownership

You won’t move forward and heal

We will often hide from ourselves

Our ego and self-esteem we try to protect

What we don’t pay attention to

We will often neglect

To be honest is hard

To be honest to ourselves is even harder

Easier to fool yourself

And become a character martyr

Critical self appraisement

Is not necessarily bad

If the goal is to self improvement

Than this is a conversation that must be had

If you have internal conflict

With something you don’t understand

Look inward and start asking questions

For the answers you must demand

…

DCG

Just what in life will you bring? 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I have a better understanding of where I am going

After what I have been through

Experience teaches us you don’t love a woman because she’s beautiful

She’s beautiful because you love her – true

I trust in Lao Tzu

On Ways to flourish

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength

While loving someone deeply gives you courage”

Having a good heart

And knowing how to use

If love is the beauty of the soul

Then the only question is how and when do we choose?

Time and effort are needed

To cultivate the art of the soul

How do you measure your success?

How do you pay the toll?

Make a decision

Live by the will

If you pass the Rubicon

Only your doubt will stand still

Life is a mystery

But if I am certain of anything

It is better to give than it is to receive

Just what in life will you bring? 

…

DCG

The journey of the forsaken 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The journey of the forsaken

As children, they learn to self soothe

After years of neglect

Predisposed to seek validation, forever having to prove

A forsaken child

A silent crime

The pain and suffering

They withhold the signs

Someone will break the cycle

Someone will break the chain

Some will hide away

Always having to endure the pain

When the most powerful human emotion

Is suppressed and shoved into a closed box

When you can’t express love

And treat your children like they have smallpox

Given the severity

You may have to self regulate

Trick your nervous system

In order to satiate

In the self-imposed prison we call trauma

We are the inmate and simultaneously the guard

Never knowing we hold the keys to the cell

And the keys to the yard

It might take decades

Or maybe some therapy

Before we unleash the Kraken

Into the social emotional sea

You may fear rejection

You may fear intimacy

You may shut out the world around you

You may avoid any reciprocity

Do you feel unworthy?

Do you feel shame?

Do you push away emotionally available people?

And then tell them that you are to blame?

Many never see their attachment style

Dismissive-avoidant, anxious- attachment, fearful-avoidant and the like

Many won’t climb the mountain of self reflection

Many won’t take this hike

Change is possible

We can recalibrate a deep trauma of emotional recovery

From pain to loneliness to forgiveness to courage 

Now it is only me that has to open up and see

…

DCG

Why are we so confused?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I know I have

Some deep childhood wounds

I’ve matured and overcome

But still hide some in an emotional cocoon

It was never so clear

Until I met a kindred spirit

A trauma bond attachment

Anxious versus avoidant is common, painful, powerful, that would mirror it

First I majored in psychology

Studied Leo Buscaglia and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then I double majored in philosophy

Eventually, I discarded all the rubbish on the pyre

What I’ve learned was not from therapy or counseling 

I’ve learned from my relationships on my own

Thanks to careful observations

For which I am prone

I’m reminded by two individuals

One from philosophy, and one from psychology

The Buddha equates attachment to suffering

BF Skinner’s operant conditioning demonstrates an emotional neurology

A rat in a cage pushes a lever to get the reward of food

What emotional lever do we push for love and affection?

Why are we so confused?

When we cannot understand, what is love or what is rejection?

RSP

…

DCG

Deposition of a disappearing man

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It is much harder

To find a date

When physical limitations

Will challenge your fate

With diabetes and neuropathy

It is sometimes difficult to manage

Now imagine having glaucoma

And you have become visually damaged

Despite these limitations

I work out and try to keep my mind right

We all have adversity

I use humor to keep things light

I don’t give up easily

And on that you can rely

Even through the hardships

That would make me want to cry

I am not here to voice my grievances

There is no bitterness I wish to share

It has made me who I am

Despite all of the ware

The human spirit is very powerful

And with grace from above, I have much to give

Strength, courage, wisdom, love

A motto by which I live

…

DCG

It warms my heart 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It warms my heart

When you express yourself to me

The excitement of a new job

A new opportunity

Not sure why I seek this connection

I seem to be drawn to you

I yearn to be close

Another déjà vu

Been three months since New Year’s days eve

It was such a great night

But I’m not sure what to believe

From the day I took notice

You have been in my heart and on my mind

Only wanting to know you better

But I think there were things about yourself you didn’t want me to find.

Did I form a trauma bond?

Or was it more than hypnotic empathy?

The connection for me was real

If I misunderstood, then please forgive me 

I do find joy in the feelings that you share

Your well-being means something to me

What is hard is that I see the internal conflict

And then I also see you respond positively

I know if you wanted something more

You would let me know

Whether you consider me a friend

Or whether you consider me a beau

RSP

…

DCG