Relationships

Why are we so confused?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I know I have

Some deep childhood wounds

I’ve matured and overcome

But still hide some in an emotional cocoon

It was never so clear

Until I met a kindred spirit

A trauma bond attachment

Anxious versus avoidant is common, painful, powerful, that would mirror it

First I majored in psychology

Studied Leo Buscaglia and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then I double majored in philosophy

Eventually, I discarded all the rubbish on the pyre

What I’ve learned was not from therapy or counseling 

I’ve learned from my relationships on my own

Thanks to careful observations

For which I am prone

I’m reminded by two individuals

One from philosophy, and one from psychology

The Buddha equates attachment to suffering

BF Skinner’s operant conditioning demonstrates an emotional neurology

A rat in a cage pushes a lever to get the reward of food

What emotional lever do we push for love and affection?

Why are we so confused?

When we cannot understand, what is love or what is rejection?

RSP

…

DCG

Deposition of a disappearing man

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It is much harder

To find a date

When physical limitations

Will challenge your fate

With diabetes and neuropathy

It is sometimes difficult to manage

Now imagine having glaucoma

And you have become visually damaged

Despite these limitations

I work out and try to keep my mind right

We all have adversity

I use humor to keep things light

I don’t give up easily

And on that you can rely

Even through the hardships

That would make me want to cry

I am not here to voice my grievances

There is no bitterness I wish to share

It has made me who I am

Despite all of the ware

The human spirit is very powerful

And with grace from above, I have much to give

Strength, courage, wisdom, love

A motto by which I live

…

DCG

It warms my heart 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It warms my heart

When you express yourself to me

The excitement of a new job

A new opportunity

Not sure why I seek this connection

I seem to be drawn to you

I yearn to be close

Another déjà vu

Been three months since New Year’s days eve

It was such a great night

But I’m not sure what to believe

From the day I took notice

You have been in my heart and on my mind

Only wanting to know you better

But I think there were things about yourself you didn’t want me to find.

Did I form a trauma bond?

Or was it more than hypnotic empathy?

The connection for me was real

If I misunderstood, then please forgive me 

I do find joy in the feelings that you share

Your well-being means something to me

What is hard is that I see the internal conflict

And then I also see you respond positively

I know if you wanted something more

You would let me know

Whether you consider me a friend

Or whether you consider me a beau

RSP

…

DCG



And so goes our training

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we have feelings

That we don’t know how to share

But if you put them under lock and key

You’ll never know if they will care

Use it as motivation

Perspective can balance the soul

Move forward

Let this be a goal

Sometimes we have a flood of emotion

Too strong or too soon to bare

This may guarantee rejection

I think we’ve all been there

Some give up

Some never stop

Repeat the same mistakes

Continue to flop

We are the curator of our own exhibitions

Malaise to malcontent, malady to mischief

That at some point

We must employ the handkerchief

And so goes our training

In the social bonds that we make

 Using our pleasantries, physical attributes and our charms

That we bake into the cake

These recipes will surely vary

It will be tested, and you must sample 

Now you have to find a good customer

One that is compatible as an example

RSP

…

DCG



But the thing to remember

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Not all situations are ideal

When we make attachments and form a bond

Sometimes we overestimate our feelings

Sometimes we under appreciate those whom we are fond

We may overvalue our feelings

The heart may overcompensate

To desire a connection

A relationship we wish to propagate

So many things can happen

We have missed opportunities

Sometimes we miss the signs

We disrupt our possibilities

But this is what makes life interesting

After all is said and done

You certainly won’t be bored

When we’re always looking for fun

Relationships must be earned

Some you win, some you lose

But the thing to remember

Is that you are the one who must choose

…

DCG

What do you posit?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

What do you posit?

A claim that you say is true?

Do you try to falsify?

Is it something that you think you knew?

Do you accept something as fact?

Because of the claim of authority?

Are you satisfied?

With the rule of the majority?

The social sciences have shown us

No matter what some people actually see

They would rather follow the group

And not disagree

The influence of power

Make your decision

Follow the cult

Follow a religion

Make a choice

Take responsibility

Or cower in line 

And demonstrate futility

The struggle for liberty

Tyranny must fall

If you don’t stand for anything 

Then you stand for nothing at all 

…

DCG

A one-sided love affair

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

What have you learned?

What have you lost?

What have you earned?

What was the cost? 

Even the saint

Will feel the burn

When raw emotion erupts

And there is nowhere to turn

Unrequited love

Never reaches an end

No resolution

Of anything you send

You cannot keep

What cannot be kept

Despite all the tears

After you’ve wept

Is there a lesson?

Nothing gained or nothing lost

Was it destiny?

Or was it a coin toss?

Have you ever had?

A one-sided love affair?

Not enough to love you back?

Not enough to care?

Did you open up too much?

What vulnerabilities did you bare?

Did they freeze up and stare?

Please tell me, I dare!

Even through the heartache

Even after the pain

Do you still forgive them?

After the feelings wane?

When timing is everything

And the stars align

You and I collide

Our hearts just may resign

There is no certainty

No formula, no magic potion

For finding love

Or mutual devotion

RSP

…

DCG



We need not despair 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

What good is self interest?

When you don’t set a high bar

The distance traveled

Would be nearer rather than far 

If we diminish our own capabilities

Before we truly know

This would likely influence our performance

What indeed might that show?

How indeed can self interest serve you?

If you do not correctly, self evaluate

If there is no baseline for progress or decay

Then this won’t help, and it shall not alleviate

What good is self interest to the altruist?

In this case, it is the key to define

How we measure reciprocity

How we relate in kind

With all things considered

We must be centered and have our feet on the ground

The middle way according  to the Buddha

Is where we should be found

I think maybe if we change the optics and focus

We need not despair

Rather than self interest

We should look at being self-aware

…

DCG

Sometimes we don’t invest into the right people 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we don’t invest into the right people

We do not see them as who they are

Maybe they don’t reciprocate?

Maybe they take it too far?

When people recognize our value

We truly appreciate

If our own friends don’t

Then maybe we should reevaluate

we cannot control how other people feel about us

But we can control for whom we associate

Better our chances be

For us to navigate

There are tides of human contact

Sometimes washing away our connectivity

Demoralizing  and depreciating

Making me question “is this what I see“?

There are many complexities

To the bonds that we make

For who’s soul will benefit?

For who’s sake?

Do we self-sabotage?

do we self-sacrifice?

Do we follow the deceiver? 

Or do we follow the Christ?

…

DCG

The reason you pretend

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

To forgive oneself

Can be challenging

The past mistakes and headaches

Exposed with your accounting

But to truly forgive

Is to make amends

Discontinue the behavior

And never do it again

One must break the cycle

Forgive yourself one day

And on the next day

You do it again

Stop repeating bad habits

These are something

We should certainly not depend

You don’t offend

If you suspend

The reason you pretend

Not wanting to bring an end

And so the hand with a joker

Is played like a fool

You really can’t hide

Behind a mask if you still think it’s cool

…

DCG