Defense Mechanism

At the altar of circumstance 

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The collateral damage of loneliness

A tariff on the feelings we export

On what principle of this debt do we offend?

On what vice do we subjugate or report?

It’s one thing to know

That you are aware

It’s another thing to not know

As you silently stare

If we negotiate our values

To numb what we feel

What price will we pay?

At the altar of circumstance when we kneel?

“Eleanor Rigby

Died in a church and was buried alone with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie

Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved “

…

DCG

This emotional embargo 

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Just because you can resist the devil

Doesn’t mean you should hang out with him

Take this as a truth

Do not take it on a whim 

It’s easier to avoid temptation

Then it is to resist it

If you don’t want temptation to follow you

Then don’t act like you are interested and just sit 

Because of our loyalty

Because of our doubt

Because of our skepticism

All we can do in this box is burst out 

Our faith will be tested

The appearance of the hardest path to take is not always as clear

The motivation to overcome

May give us a better compass to steer

You can’t purge yourself of feeling

But you can certainly numb

Over time you become bitter and resent

Just what then will we become?

This emotional embargo

We place on others, lovers, and our friends

Just how will we survive?

Just how will our relationships end?

We back ourselves into a corner

There is only one way to move

We must go forward again

Because only our time will prove

it is not as bad as we imagined

We have trapped ourselves in an emotional  cage

We’re spinning our wheels round and round

we must muster the courage for os to wage

RSP

…

DCG

We accept the love we think we deserve

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Sometimes we must wrestle with ourselves

Sometimes we must wrestle with God

Sometimes it comes naturally

Sometimes we must poke and prod

In self-sabotage

We resign

Closing The doors of opportunity

We may otherwise possibly find

There Is drama in our relationships

There Is heartache and there is pain

With too much repetition

Resolution Is In vain

Learned helplessness

A very real thing

If beholden to this cycle

No happiness we can bring

You can build a wall around you

Numb your senses from the pain

Push away any future entanglements

You think maybe this will keep you sane

The breakthrough will come

When our most inner needs are met

There may be some risk

There may be some regret

The gift of forgiveness

We allow our soul to heal

Patience and courage are required

To allow ourselves to truly feel

We except the love

We think we deserve

Trust is king

I n the world we observe

The power of love and friendship

Those who care will easily see

The struggle that goes on inside you

From the person you secretly yearn to be

RSP

…

DCG

Father Time is undefeated

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Stuck in the past?

Lived a life already gone yet?

Again to relive?

What had taken so long to forget?

Can’t help it

Caught in this mess

Turning away only helps for a bit

But sooner or later

Gotta make good on your wit

Unprocessed trauma

Runs silent runs deep

Not much to discover

When it’s held in its keep

Father Time is undefeated

…

DCG

It’s a bitter pill to swallow

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It’s a bitter pill to swallow

My Johari window is open for me to see

A glimpse of my reality

What are the chances I will change how I’ll be?

It’s hard to perceive your self correctly

In the shadow of your own ego

The defenses we erect to protect us

Are hidden deep and will seldom ever show

Personal objectivity is a utopian concept

Yet it is still a celebrated goal

It takes great effort and great discipline

For us to master the soul

The commoner or the sage

All have fortuitous opportunities

Align with what you value

Align with no disunities

Authenticity carries heavy weight

How we act is subject to review

To improve upon your character

Is clearly something we should pursue

…

If and when one learns

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It pains me to say

I struggle with my family

All those years ago

All of that calamity

It haunts me today

To make peace I have tried

Reminders of the past come out when I interact

Reopen those wounds when I have cried

We must keep in measure

The way we communicate with one another

Deeds will pass from way back when

Yet they will continue to fester if we place blame on the other

We must find find a common narrative

Closure is needed to come to terms

Ones that we can agree upon

If and when one learns

…DCG

When the damage is Done

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We make choices

You can’t redo what has been done

Whether you lose the trust

Or whether you’ve won

We all have challenges

Some are better off than me

They don’t feel the pain like I do

Somethings they won’t ever have to see

Some will never get it

Some may never take into account

The failures of their inaction

The pendulum swings from surmount to discount

I know this is a hard conversation

In family one must work through blame

Get beyond the emotion

Get beyond the shame

What strikes me hardest

Is an unwillingness to directly address

Ones own personal connections

Why we deny and why we do not profess

This takes courage

This takes nerve

Some may learn to overcome their weaknesses

Some will just only serve

…

DCG

Does not the braggart remain the fool?

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You can build an intellect

Upon which you shall discern

The merit of a liberal education

Applied to that of which you shall learn

When you place yourself above others

Citing knowledge and facts you claim you know

Setting yourself up as authority

Isn’t it sad that this is what the braggart must show

Social media as an echo chamber

Test the water with politicized debate

But if you never look at critical evidence

You will only achieve a stalemate

What is morally reprehensible

Using ad hominem to attack

Belittling any opposition

Wrongly deposing any rendering of fact

When moral turpitude is not taken into account

Your only attempt is to try and school

You miss the forest for the trees

Does not the braggart remain the fool?

…

DCG

The Thing about Self-Reliance

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innocence is taken

A worldview now changed

Conflict we create

Conflict we sustain

There are no shadows in the darkness

They only appear in the spotlight

Memories go undisturbed

If they remain out of our sight

We blindfold ourselves

The hard truths that we have forgotten

This doesn’t take the sting away

Out of the misbegotten

I need your support

I can’t see the light anymore

I’m surrounded by this darkness

Can’t find my way to the door

The thing about self-reliance

We sometimes lose our way

The solace we seek is hidden

Beneath the pain in our decay

We hide this from those around us

Family, friends, and our workmates

Only to endure this suffering

A dark force within that resonates

The awakening to tip the scale

Can always be found in this daze

Allow yourself to be in the present

The past is but a fog and a haze

The choice becomes right before us

With every breath and every step we take

Walk in the light of our knowing

That this path is ours to make

…
DCG

The Camouflage of Ego

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The stories in my life

We reminisce driving down memory lane

The house we grew up in

Sometimes causes me bane

King of the neighborhood

I command all that I survey

Once smoked pot at that guys house

Once had a girl in that one and got laid

We measure looking backwards on how we might have been

Nostalgia distorts reality

Think you have a perfect memory

Bet some friends will disagree

Funny how we paint

With broad strokes on our canvass

Memories that are more forgiving

Selecting ones that take fewer chances

So we continue to repeat

This remembrance now faded

Pointing to the parts

That we’ve embellished and paraded

This process we use

On how we express

Accurate or not

It’s not really what we’ve done, but rather how we confess

Master and commander

Our pride on sentry

Telling our tales

In line with our gentry

Talk it up kids

Tell us of those deeds

The camouflage of ego

Will rarely ever concede

…

DCG