Defense Mechanism

You won’t know until the silence hit you

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The quickest path of victimhood

Is through the expression of passive-aggressive, dismissive-avoidant denial

The gauntlet is thrown in defeat

The indignation and sentence are exposed pre-trial

At attachment theory, dismissive-avoidant and anxiously attached

Both have triggers

Both have a 22 catch

You won’t know until the silence hits you

You have to experience it before you can see

 we have to prevent what triggers us

To face what is truly reality 

If you pull back far enough, the problem within you is evident but you are afraid to see

Your emotional paralysis is not mature

Your perpetual stagnation

Is all you endure

A self fulfilling prophecy

Meets a self sabotaging force

You’re not able to navigate

If you can’t chart a course

Take a snapshot

What do we know?

Severe emotional neglect

Stunted feelings, you never allow to grow

How do you deal if you don’t know how to heal?

What is wild?

You are part woman

No, you are part child

Survivors of emotional trauma

And childhood neglect

May Bond together

Attached to the trauma they connect

The perks of being a wallflower

When you see it, it hits a nerve

“Sometimes we accept the love

We think we deserve”

RSP

…

DCG

When your confidence is shrouded by insecurity 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The wounds never heal

If you deny any chance to grow

When you bottle up the emotional pain

it is your shame that prevents you to show

Caught in a vicious cycle

The unexplored subconscious reigns

Never looking at your reflection 

Never understanding your pain

Never learning how to process emotional trauma

You willingly suppress and avoid feelings That keep you in chains

You battle this inner enemy

A victim you become by your own claim

Unresolved childhood trauma

Not knowing where to turn

Perpetually questioning your internal compass

If you don’t trust yourself, you won’t be able to learn

When your confidence is shrouded by insecurity

The dismissive  avoidant, prolongs their suffering and pain

Little chance for success

When it is all done in vain

There is hope for a chance of recovery

Take my hand I will be your guide

You can find resolution

But you must first expose what you so often hide

RSP

…

DCG

One that we host

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Walking on eggshells

Not knowing who to trust

When loneliness meets self-doubt

After two cocktails, you lower your standards and begin to lust

So we dress up, and act clever 

And then we flirt

The person who takes notice

Won’t even be there when you hurt 

Something within us

Drives us to mix and socialize

With our guard rails down

Not sober we will compromise

We reach for the shiny object

That is in the room

Little do we know

More often it turns into gloom

Did we choose wisely?

Only the soul can say

When we rush into excitement

Those feelings sometimes fade away

Off to the bar we go

Not knowing we’re chasing a ghost

One that we have created

And one that we host

RSP

…

DCG

At least I gave it a shot 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When the mind is weary

It can become overwhelmed and confused

One must then use a counter balance

Before one can defuse

There is nothing wrong with confusion

If it forces you to think

Consider all sides

And be distinct

Sound mind and sound body

Common sense can balance the equation

Activate your intelligence

And confront the mind-virus invasion

Some of our problems take time to work through

Patience, reflection, and persistence

Is the prescription

In times of unsolved resistance

The Tao resolves conflict with Wei wu Wei

Zen resolves conflict; human suffering as attachment

Hence you cannot grasp and cling to your breath

One must always exhale for detachment

On the other hand

The Confucian is the pragmatist

Resolution is common sense

No need for the iron fist

The American surfer knows

How to escape a riptide

Surrender to the water current

And not to their own pride

The will imposes maladaptive behaviors

And maladaptive thought

When we fail, we say

“At least I gave it a shot”

RSP

…

DCG

At the altar of circumstance 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The collateral damage of loneliness

A tariff on the feelings we export

On what principle of this debt do we offend?

On what vice do we subjugate or report?

It’s one thing to know

That you are aware

It’s another thing to not know

As you silently stare

If we negotiate our values

To numb what we feel

What price will we pay?

At the altar of circumstance when we kneel?

“Eleanor Rigby

Died in a church and was buried alone with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie

Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved “

…

DCG

This emotional embargo 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Just because you can resist the devil

Doesn’t mean you should hang out with him

Take this as a truth

Do not take it on a whim 

It’s easier to avoid temptation

Then it is to resist it

If you don’t want temptation to follow you

Then don’t act like you are interested and just sit 

Because of our loyalty

Because of our doubt

Because of our skepticism

All we can do in this box is burst out 

Our faith will be tested

The appearance of the hardest path to take is not always as clear

The motivation to overcome

May give us a better compass to steer

You can’t purge yourself of feeling

But you can certainly numb

Over time you become bitter and resent

Just what then will we become?

This emotional embargo

We place on others, lovers, and our friends

Just how will we survive?

Just how will our relationships end?

We back ourselves into a corner

There is only one way to move

We must go forward again

Because only our time will prove

it is not as bad as we imagined

We have trapped ourselves in an emotional  cage

We’re spinning our wheels round and round

we must muster the courage for os to wage

RSP

…

DCG

We accept the love we think we deserve

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we must wrestle with ourselves

Sometimes we must wrestle with God

Sometimes it comes naturally

Sometimes we must poke and prod

In self-sabotage

We resign

Closing The doors of opportunity

We may otherwise possibly find

There Is drama in our relationships

There Is heartache and there is pain

With too much repetition

Resolution Is In vain

Learned helplessness

A very real thing

If beholden to this cycle

No happiness we can bring

You can build a wall around you

Numb your senses from the pain

Push away any future entanglements

You think maybe this will keep you sane

The breakthrough will come

When our most inner needs are met

There may be some risk

There may be some regret

The gift of forgiveness

We allow our soul to heal

Patience and courage are required

To allow ourselves to truly feel

We except the love

We think we deserve

Trust is king

I n the world we observe

The power of love and friendship

Those who care will easily see

The struggle that goes on inside you

From the person you secretly yearn to be

RSP

…

DCG

Father Time is undefeated

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Stuck in the past?

Lived a life already gone yet?

Again to relive?

What had taken so long to forget?

Can’t help it

Caught in this mess

Turning away only helps for a bit

But sooner or later

Gotta make good on your wit

Unprocessed trauma

Runs silent runs deep

Not much to discover

When it’s held in its keep

Father Time is undefeated

…

DCG

It’s a bitter pill to swallow

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It’s a bitter pill to swallow

My Johari window is open for me to see

A glimpse of my reality

What are the chances I will change how I’ll be?

It’s hard to perceive your self correctly

In the shadow of your own ego

The defenses we erect to protect us

Are hidden deep and will seldom ever show

Personal objectivity is a utopian concept

Yet it is still a celebrated goal

It takes great effort and great discipline

For us to master the soul

The commoner or the sage

All have fortuitous opportunities

Align with what you value

Align with no disunities

Authenticity carries heavy weight

How we act is subject to review

To improve upon your character

Is clearly something we should pursue

…

DCG

If and when one learns

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It pains me to say

I struggle with my family

All those years ago

All of that calamity

It haunts me today

To make peace I have tried

Reminders of the past come out when I interact

Reopen those wounds when I have cried

We must keep in measure

The way we communicate with one another

Deeds will pass from way back when

Yet they will continue to fester if we place blame on the other

We must find find a common narrative

Closure is needed to come to terms

Ones that we can agree upon

If and when one learns

…DCG