suffering

Then you may not be blind

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Mothers and daughters

Sons and fathers

What will be the gain?

If you mistreat, neglect or discard

When they leave the house, they will be bonded to pain

Have you studied child development?

If you have, then, I think you must know

There is no class for parenting

We learn from how we were raised according to the latest poll

So now begins the cycle

Sadly, the forsaken may reach a point of no return

But despite the smite of this circumstance

There is opportunity to learn

Most people don’t know

The subconscious pain below the surface

When they get triggered

They call out the clowns from the circus

Lightning in a bottle

Is meant to say it’s rare

But the imagination we experience

Is not likely to be shared

Why is it “a penny for your thoughts”

When you have to put your “ two cents in”?

Where does that extra penny go?

Is this the tax on our sin?

Intelligence examines thought

Wisdom understands thought and feelings as intertwined

One from the other is not completely independent

If you consider this statement true

Then you may not be blind

…

DCG

And walk towards what we believe

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

There is no rainbow in the soul

If there are no tears in the eyes

A native American proverb

Many consider to be wise

The realization of aging

Many elderly people say

They often lament over the memory of being young 

And their current body’s decay

When we are young we cannot fully appreciate

The lifecycle that we live

But overtime, it will dawn upon us

There will be one last sunset, so we have limited time and much to give

Many hard truths about ourselves

Will often escape us

And when we think and ruminate about them

We fail to connect our feelings to resolve the what was 

The path of a rewarding life

May lie ahead

The path of trips bumps and falls

Will also happen instead

Just how we manage this journey

Relies on what we perceive

We must summon the courage within us

And walk towards what we believe

…

DCG







Am I allowed to express what I feel?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I wear an emotional straight jacket

I created on my own

Formed in my childhood

That I learned in my home

My parents were emotionally impoverished

Not really knowing how to emotionally provide

Not knowing how to love

They both suffered inside

Trauma based genealogies

Go back generations in time

However, we break this cycle

We must be patient

We must be kind

When the human spirit is weak

We may be blind

When the human spirit is strong

A path to discovery, we may find

The human bonding hormone is  oxytocin

If we experience trauma, and there is disruption

We must self regulate

if and when you learn your attachment style

Then maybe you will be able to vindicate

If you try to fill an emotional void

That your own mind will create

You may find an endless loop

That will continue to frustrate

Why is it we always seek connection

To undo a never ending hurt?

If aware, we know this won’t work

But we still continue to flirt

So the question now becomes

Just how do I heal?

How do I make things right?

Am I allowed to express what I feel?

RSP

…

DCG

The journey of the forsaken 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The journey of the forsaken

As children, they learn to self soothe

After years of neglect

Predisposed to seek validation, forever having to prove

A forsaken child

A silent crime

The pain and suffering

They withhold the signs

Someone will break the cycle

Someone will break the chain

Some will hide away

Always having to endure the pain

When the most powerful human emotion

Is suppressed and shoved into a closed box

When you can’t express love

And treat your children like they have smallpox

Given the severity

You may have to self regulate

Trick your nervous system

In order to satiate

In the self-imposed prison we call trauma

We are the inmate and simultaneously the guard

Never knowing we hold the keys to the cell

And the keys to the yard

It might take decades

Or maybe some therapy

Before we unleash the Kraken

Into the social emotional sea

You may fear rejection

You may fear intimacy

You may shut out the world around you

You may avoid any reciprocity

Do you feel unworthy?

Do you feel shame?

Do you push away emotionally available people?

And then tell them that you are to blame?

Many never see their attachment style

Dismissive-avoidant, anxious- attachment, fearful-avoidant and the like

Many won’t climb the mountain of self reflection

Many won’t take this hike

Change is possible

We can recalibrate a deep trauma of emotional recovery

From pain to loneliness to forgiveness to courage 

Now it is only me that has to open up and see

…

DCG

Why are we so confused?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I know I have

Some deep childhood wounds

I’ve matured and overcome

But still hide some in an emotional cocoon

It was never so clear

Until I met a kindred spirit

A trauma bond attachment

Anxious versus avoidant is common, painful, powerful, that would mirror it

First I majored in psychology

Studied Leo Buscaglia and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then I double majored in philosophy

Eventually, I discarded all the rubbish on the pyre

What I’ve learned was not from therapy or counseling 

I’ve learned from my relationships on my own

Thanks to careful observations

For which I am prone

I’m reminded by two individuals

One from philosophy, and one from psychology

The Buddha equates attachment to suffering

BF Skinner’s operant conditioning demonstrates an emotional neurology

A rat in a cage pushes a lever to get the reward of food

What emotional lever do we push for love and affection?

Why are we so confused?

When we cannot understand, what is love or what is rejection?

RSP

…

DCG

I self sabotage

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When I have guilt

When I have shame

I self sabotage

That’s who I blame

I don’t feel worthy

I don’t feel sane

I self sabotage

That’s where I put my blame

Guilt is from choices I’ve made

Shame is from identifying with inadequacy

My father used to put me down

He put me down so masterfully

Abandonment issues

Little self-esteem

The child inside me

Has a diminishing dream

You see I’ve had difficulty in relationships

I had a difficult childhood

And with my low self-esteem

My cognitive dissonance stood

RSP

…

DCG

At least I gave it a shot 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When the mind is weary

It can become overwhelmed and confused

One must then use a counter balance

Before one can defuse

There is nothing wrong with confusion

If it forces you to think

Consider all sides

And be distinct

Sound mind and sound body

Common sense can balance the equation

Activate your intelligence

And confront the mind-virus invasion

Some of our problems take time to work through

Patience, reflection, and persistence

Is the prescription

In times of unsolved resistance

The Tao resolves conflict with Wei wu Wei

Zen resolves conflict; human suffering as attachment

Hence you cannot grasp and cling to your breath

One must always exhale for detachment

On the other hand

The Confucian is the pragmatist

Resolution is common sense

No need for the iron fist

The American surfer knows

How to escape a riptide

Surrender to the water current

And not to their own pride

The will imposes maladaptive behaviors

And maladaptive thought

When we fail, we say

“At least I gave it a shot”

RSP

…

DCG

Old wounds can heal

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

We learn from experience

We learn from dreams

We learn from others

Sometimes these lessons are not what they seem

Forged with reason and emotion

This imprint attaches to our soul

Sometimes they change with the times

Sometimes they’re put out on parole

Attachment to anything

Either pleasure or pain

May not serve us after the fact

And may just be in vain

Memories can last a lifetime

Our ability to deal with them will change

Old wounds can heal

As this is not really that strange

…

DCG



The questions one must ask

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Suffering from the emotional abuse

When a young child is not allowed to cry

Wishing if only

His father would simply just Die!

Old wounds run silent and deep

When a memory of the past

Eclipses your present state

Just how long will this disruption last?

What is adversity?

Is it a certainty?

Maybe even a guarantee?

Does it define us by decree?

Deteriorate

Infuriate

Suffocate

Isolate

When indeed will we learn?

My own prison a captive of my own thought

Both the jailer and the inmate

Is this what my life has brought?

Given the stakes

What must we do?

Pardon the offences?

Follow a moral law that is true?

Where do we draw the line?

How do we measure autonomy?

The questions one must ask

To comport their philosophy

“ The swords of time will peirce our skin

It doesn’t hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger watch it grin “

The currency of knowledge is free

What we don’t squander

If we attend

Only then this wisdom we can ponder

Receptivity is crucial

I think the broken-hearted people would agree

A key will open a door

A light will allow us to see

Manifest change by perception

Attachment of pain from a dream

Is much harder to navigate

When it clearly cannot be seen

…

DCG

Intimacy

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Pursuit of intimacy

A silent proclamation of spirit we make

But the unrequited connection

Can lead us to a quieting heart-ache

Intimacy – a compelling drive

A beckoning state

Only the misanthrope

Is likely to hate

The condition for a healthy relationship

Is contingent on our capacity to accept and give love

If you cannot achieve the connection

Then you should ask for help from above

Have you ever been starved for affection?

How does it make you feel?

Alone in your isolation?

Crying on the floor as you kneel?

HD Thoreau points to Quiet Desperation

Unfulfilled in the actions you take

Which path are you on?

Which path will you make?

…

DCG