What triggers the soul to hunger? Is it when our appetite becomes awakened by some defining experience we align ourselves with? Do we control this mechanism or is it something innate and inborn within us? Is it serendipity that connects us at the right place and the right time to events we become attracted to and enthused by?
Where do our deepest desires originate? How do they germinate and then suddenly spark when some experience in our lives brings them to life? Some creative passion born into possibility or some inspiring moment that changes us forever after that day forward has challenged many psychological, religious, and philosophical theorists for answers. It is not that we choose these moments, but rather that these moments seem to choose us. These moments influence something within our being and awakens us to a new possibility, a new experience that taps into something very deep within us. We cannot explain it precisely even after many years of reflection, but it is something that transpires within us along the course of our lives. It was not something we expected to engage us, and we certainly did not plan it. Clearly one can see countless examples of this influential dynamic in our lives. Weaving its imprint on those at the wake of discovery within the advancements of science can be demonstrated by Issac Newton’s quote …”If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”. The case for how artistic expression stimulates and perpetuates newer forms can be demonstrated by Bob Dylan’s influence on a generation. He was influenced by Woodie Guthrie, and Dylan in turn influenced everyone from The Beatles to Jimi Hendrix. The same principle applies to the many other pursuits within the conduct of human expression.
Why there is so much diversity in the world, why there are so many different perspectives gives us some sign that we all form different types of connections to these defining moments that we want to align ourselves with. The emotional connection to these events that forever changes our lives can lead us to completely different outcomes. On one hand they can transform our lives into something that we will build upon and cherish for years to come, (a relationship with someone, a passion for a creative pursuit, a pleasurable pastime we enjoy, or another bonding relationship we can experience such as devotion and religion). On the other hand it can lead us into a very dark realm of existence such as an emotional, and physical connection to some addiction, cult, or false prophet.
Some of my strongest connections originate from these awakened passions and desires. Something resonated deep inside of me and I wanted to be part of these newly discovered feelings or ideas. Either inspired by something or someone, I used whatever was in my power to get from point A to point B even if I didn’t know really where to start or how to get there. Even when it meant that I was unsure of just where point A and point B really were in the first place, I effectuated this connection with determination! It may be that the awakening that is experienced is very subtle or its occurrence may be very intense depending on the circumstances met. It may slowly transform us over time, or it may suddenly come into focus defining itself through a series of experiences that we progressively clutch and embrace. However this mechanism manifests or however this animating principle becomes active, it seems clear that our belief systems, and our emotional attachments are crucial in their actualization. The emotional connectivity to the animating forces behind our enthusiasm may truly be the glue that binds us to these desires.
I can certainly say that this was not the case for many occasional interests because I simply failed to follow through on them and develop them. We can stifle many interests if we limit ourselves, if our insecurities creep in, or if others do not give us needed support or encouragement at times when maybe if that consolation was given at the right time, it could have changed the course of events within us. I think that children have tremendous amounts of opportunities since their minds are not biased, since they have not yet learned the defeating attitudes we as adults often struggle with, and with proper encouragement they could become extraordinary people with cultivated dynamic skills if directed o do so at the right age.
Understanding the relationship of this phenomenon allows me to use this learning to better clarify worthy pursuits. What leads me to ask these questions, I can only surmise. These questions direct me to explore my fascination with my wish to better appreciate the world as I experience it. I am my own person but influenced by many. The pragmatist within me speaks to make the unknown rational. The mystic within me seeks to make the unknown tangible. The philosopher within me solicits the perplexity of the unknown; hence making the esoteric….exoteric!
There have been times in my life when I have hit the ground running, and there have been times in my life when I was completely paralyzed, ill-equipped to meet the onslaught of a troublesome world. I speak of a paralysis that directs a person to a social exile since the belief in trusting others has long since diminished. An exile that is self imposed, and deemed a better choice than taking solace from those who may ease the pain and help has now taken siege in the echoes of the mind.
The disintegrated trust in my ability to find help has possibly kept me from forming bonds with other people through-out much of my childhood and at times episodically through-out my adult life. I had to entrench myself and limit my fortification with only my psychological ability to fight off the pursuing assailants whatever those confrontational situations may have happened to be. We can be our own worst enemies at times, especially when we have doubt in our ability to overcome an obstacle that happens to cross our paths.
It has taken me many years of self observation to formulate a basic understanding of the patterns in my behavior that I see through my life’s choices and experiences.
Much of my interest does not necessarily begin with my personal look into my own soul, but in looking for the purity in the soul’s of others that have inspired me has led me to make discoveries within myself and the world at large. My searches have led me to many sources, some conventional, and some to the contrary, but I am forever in search of answers that I have asked for as long as I can remember.
Essence and Personality
The core truth that my studies have conveyed to me is that we are much more than our personality. Our personalities are no more than the familiar, conditioned parts of a much wider range of potentials that we all possess. Beyond the limitations of our personalities, each of us exists as a vast, largely unrecognized quality of being or presence-what is called our Essence.
In the spiritual language we could say that within each person is an individual spark of the divine, although we have forgotten this fundamental truth because…..Because we have fallen asleep to our true nature.
We do not experience our own divine nature; nor do we experience others as manifestations of the divine. Instead, we often become hard, even cynical, treating others as objects to be defended against or used for our own gratification.
-The spirit is the true self, not that physical figure which can be pointed out by your finger.
The fundamental ground of our being is Essence or spirit, but it takes a dynamic form we call “The Soul”. Our personality is a particular aspect of our soul. Our soul is “made of” Essence or Spirit. If spirit were water, soul would be a particular lake or river, and personality would be waves on its surface – or frozen chunks of ice in the river.
Generally, we do no experience our Essence and its many aspects because our awareness is so dominated by our personality. But as we learn to bring awareness to our personality, it becomes more transparent, and we are able to experience our Essence more directly. We still function in the world but with a growing realization of our connection with divinity. We become aware that we are part of a divine presence all around us and in us that is constantly and miraculously unfolding.
The paradigm of the Enneagram does not put us in a box, it rather shows us the box we are already in – and the way out!
Man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible.
If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.
He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.
CIRCLE = UNITY – WHOLENESS
TRIANGLE = TRINITY – LAW OF 3
(GURDJIEFF) = HEXAD
LAW OF 7 – CHANGE
The wholeness of a thing, its identity is the result of the interaction of three forces, and how it evolves or changes over time. Dynamic not static.
⁃ NINE DIVINE ATTRIBUTES
⁃ COMBINED TREE OF LIFE
Passions represent the way we lose our center and become distorted in our thinking, feeling, and doing.
TRAPPED IN EGO
SEVEN “DEADLY SINS” PLUS 2
ANGER – RESENTMENT
PRIDE – IGNORE ONE’S SUFFERING
— DECEIT — BELIEVING IN EGO, NOT TRUE ESSENCE
ENVY – BELIEVING SOMETHING IS MISSING
AVARICE – LACK INNER RESOURCES
— FEAR — ANXIETY
GLUTTONY – INSATIABLE DESIRE TO FILL UP
LUST – CONSTANT NEED TO CONTROL
SLOTH – UNWILLING TO ARISE WITH VITALITY
PERSONALITY TYPE DEVELOPMENT
LEVELS OF GROWTH
LEVELS OF DETERIORATION
CORRELATION OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TYPOLOGIES
DEEPER STRUCTURES OF TYPES
There’s a part of every living thing that wants to become itself. The tadpole into the frog, the chrysalis into the butterfly, a damaged human being into a whole one. That is spirituality.
Our hearts yearn to know who we are and why we are here. we have been taught that the quality of our life will improve primarily if our external fortunes improve. sooner or later, however, we realize that external things, while valuable in themselves, cannot address the deep restlessness of our soul.
It seems to me that before we set out on a journey to find reality, to find god, before we can act, before we have any relationship with another … it is essential that we begin to understand ourselves first.
Whatever your age, your upbringing, or your education, what you are made of is mostly unused potential.
the main filter that we use to understand ourselves and the world around us, to express ourselves, to defend ourselves, to deal with our past and anticipate our future, to learn with, to rejoice with, and to fall in love with, is our personality type.
core personality (psychological) issues interpersonal strengths and weaknesses
how to deal with these issues
Spiritually speaking, everything that one wants, aspires to, and needs is ever-present, accessible here and now…for those with eyes to see.
Spirit is an invisible force made visible in all life.
What have been the defining moments of your life…your traumas and triumphs – those times when you knew that, for better or worse your life would never be the same? who have been the most significant people in your life – those who have acted as “witnesses’ to your struggles and growth, those who have hurt you and those who have been your understanding mentors and friends?
a journal = descriptive biography
The great metaphors from all spiritual traditions – grace, liberation, being born again, awakening from illusion – testify that it is possible to transcend the conditioning of my past and do a new thing.
Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand!
What can we gain by sailing to see the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?
Real self knowledge is an invaluable guardian against self-deception. As much as traversing the enneagram paradigm in that it can reveal the spiritual heights that we are capable of attaining, it also sheds light clearly and non-judgmentally on the aspects of our lives that are dark and unfree.
Meditations and having “presence” (awareness, mindfulness), and the practice of self-observation (gained from self-knowledge), and understanding what one’s experiences mean, is the beginning of the process to undertake a transformation for yourself.
Being supplies the first, you supply the second, and the enneagram supplies the third. when these three come together, things can happen quickly.