psychology

Why are we so confused?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I know I have

Some deep childhood wounds

I’ve matured and overcome

But still hide some in an emotional cocoon

It was never so clear

Until I met a kindred spirit

A trauma bond attachment

Anxious versus avoidant is common, painful, powerful, that would mirror it

First I majored in psychology

Studied Leo Buscaglia and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then I double majored in philosophy

Eventually, I discarded all the rubbish on the pyre

What I’ve learned was not from therapy or counseling 

I’ve learned from my relationships on my own

Thanks to careful observations

For which I am prone

I’m reminded by two individuals

One from philosophy, and one from psychology

The Buddha equates attachment to suffering

BF Skinner’s operant conditioning demonstrates an emotional neurology

A rat in a cage pushes a lever to get the reward of food

What emotional lever do we push for love and affection?

Why are we so confused?

When we cannot understand, what is love or what is rejection?

RSP

…

DCG

And so goes our training

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we have feelings

That we don’t know how to share

But if you put them under lock and key

You’ll never know if they will care

Use it as motivation

Perspective can balance the soul

Move forward

Let this be a goal

Sometimes we have a flood of emotion

Too strong or too soon to bare

This may guarantee rejection

I think we’ve all been there

Some give up

Some never stop

Repeat the same mistakes

Continue to flop

We are the curator of our own exhibitions

Malaise to malcontent, malady to mischief

That at some point

We must employ the handkerchief

And so goes our training

In the social bonds that we make

 Using our pleasantries, physical attributes and our charms

That we bake into the cake

These recipes will surely vary

It will be tested, and you must sample 

Now you have to find a good customer

One that is compatible as an example

RSP

…

DCG



Time only lives in the now

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Time only lives in the now

It is ever-present in what we observe

There is no past

With exception to a memory that we reserve

We do not experience a future

With exception to prophecy

But even then

It is only a mental vision that we see

There is no linear time

The Taoist monk would say

Only effortless action

Wu Wei (Woo way)

We are limited beings

With a finite mind

Can we really conceive?

Of limitless time?

Hence the paradox

With only one solution

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

They both surrender

This provides the resolution

The mind can play tricks on us

Thus was born philosophy

Just how much do we understand?

Given our own psychology 



…

DCG

Rupert Spira

https://youtu.be/LjDhov4p6Sg?si=f5UcKTw8x15iUkfr

We need not despair 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

What good is self interest?

When you don’t set a high bar

The distance traveled

Would be nearer rather than far 

If we diminish our own capabilities

Before we truly know

This would likely influence our performance

What indeed might that show?

How indeed can self interest serve you?

If you do not correctly, self evaluate

If there is no baseline for progress or decay

Then this won’t help, and it shall not alleviate

What good is self interest to the altruist?

In this case, it is the key to define

How we measure reciprocity

How we relate in kind

With all things considered

We must be centered and have our feet on the ground

The middle way according  to the Buddha

Is where we should be found

I think maybe if we change the optics and focus

We need not despair

Rather than self interest

We should look at being self-aware

…

DCG

Sometimes we don’t invest into the right people 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we don’t invest into the right people

We do not see them as who they are

Maybe they don’t reciprocate?

Maybe they take it too far?

When people recognize our value

We truly appreciate

If our own friends don’t

Then maybe we should reevaluate

we cannot control how other people feel about us

But we can control for whom we associate

Better our chances be

For us to navigate

There are tides of human contact

Sometimes washing away our connectivity

Demoralizing  and depreciating

Making me question “is this what I see“?

There are many complexities

To the bonds that we make

For who’s soul will benefit?

For who’s sake?

Do we self-sabotage?

do we self-sacrifice?

Do we follow the deceiver? 

Or do we follow the Christ?

…

DCG

It is not uncommon to misdiagnose our past 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It’s hard to gain any ground

When you confabulate

So in retrospect

You must question what you reflect and communicate

With every decade we ponder

The pros and cons of the emotional inventory spent

The more we regret

The more we lament

Growing pains are the by-product

Of reason and accountability

The price and the rite of passage

In our maturity

It is not uncommon to misdiagnose our past 

The motivation is not lost

But it is the result

When we find out the cost

The wisdom we seek

Will benefit us if we pay attention

Some memories may mislead 

Unless we have proper retention

Experience and practice

May dispel a memory

If one is in question

In our receptivity 

…

DCG

I self sabotage

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When I have guilt

When I have shame

I self sabotage

That’s who I blame

I don’t feel worthy

I don’t feel sane

I self sabotage

That’s where I put my blame

Guilt is from choices I’ve made

Shame is from identifying with inadequacy

My father used to put me down

He put me down so masterfully

Abandonment issues

Little self-esteem

The child inside me

Has a diminishing dream

You see I’ve had difficulty in relationships

I had a difficult childhood

And with my low self-esteem

My cognitive dissonance stood

RSP

…

DCG

At least I gave it a shot 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When the mind is weary

It can become overwhelmed and confused

One must then use a counter balance

Before one can defuse

There is nothing wrong with confusion

If it forces you to think

Consider all sides

And be distinct

Sound mind and sound body

Common sense can balance the equation

Activate your intelligence

And confront the mind-virus invasion

Some of our problems take time to work through

Patience, reflection, and persistence

Is the prescription

In times of unsolved resistance

The Tao resolves conflict with Wei wu Wei

Zen resolves conflict; human suffering as attachment

Hence you cannot grasp and cling to your breath

One must always exhale for detachment

On the other hand

The Confucian is the pragmatist

Resolution is common sense

No need for the iron fist

The American surfer knows

How to escape a riptide

Surrender to the water current

And not to their own pride

The will imposes maladaptive behaviors

And maladaptive thought

When we fail, we say

“At least I gave it a shot”

RSP

…

DCG

The instant karma we now re-acquaint 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It’s been four months since my last post

I’ve struggled with my sight but not with my vision

This inner sanctum I dwell with my thoughts

Only now a more reflective provision

I ponder and think deep 

About what I truly find real

When something is taken away

You care more about how you feel

Experience begets empathy

Wisdom comes with self-restraint

The folly of our misgivings

The instant karma we now re-acquaint

Life has many gifts

Take heart and seize the day

Love deeply and serve others

Take heed before it all goes away

…

DCG

When expectation and reality collide

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When expectation

And reality collide

What do you get?

What do you hide?

Contingent on your belief

Contingent on your assessment

Are you at risk?

Do you have an emotional investment?

Now what do you do?

Egg on your face?

Make an excuse?

Another time, another place?

Does it really surprise you?

How good can you get?

We are just human

Or did you forget?

The arrogance of ego

Will make its play

A priori ?

What do you say?

…

DCG