Love and acceptance

The journey of the forsaken 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The journey of the forsaken

As children, they learn to self soothe

After years of neglect

Predisposed to seek validation, forever having to prove

A forsaken child

A silent crime

The pain and suffering

They withhold the signs

Someone will break the cycle

Someone will break the chain

Some will hide away

Always having to endure the pain

When the most powerful human emotion

Is suppressed and shoved into a closed box

When you can’t express love

And treat your children like they have smallpox

Given the severity

You may have to self regulate

Trick your nervous system

In order to satiate

In the self-imposed prison we call trauma

We are the inmate and simultaneously the guard

Never knowing we hold the keys to the cell

And the keys to the yard

It might take decades

Or maybe some therapy

Before we unleash the Kraken

Into the social emotional sea

You may fear rejection

You may fear intimacy

You may shut out the world around you

You may avoid any reciprocity

Do you feel unworthy?

Do you feel shame?

Do you push away emotionally available people?

And then tell them that you are to blame?

Many never see their attachment style

Dismissive-avoidant, anxious- attachment, fearful-avoidant and the like

Many won’t climb the mountain of self reflection

Many won’t take this hike

Change is possible

We can recalibrate a deep trauma of emotional recovery

From pain to loneliness to forgiveness to courage 

Now it is only me that has to open up and see

…

DCG

Why are we so confused?

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I know I have

Some deep childhood wounds

I’ve matured and overcome

But still hide some in an emotional cocoon

It was never so clear

Until I met a kindred spirit

A trauma bond attachment

Anxious versus avoidant is common, painful, powerful, that would mirror it

First I majored in psychology

Studied Leo Buscaglia and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then I double majored in philosophy

Eventually, I discarded all the rubbish on the pyre

What I’ve learned was not from therapy or counseling 

I’ve learned from my relationships on my own

Thanks to careful observations

For which I am prone

I’m reminded by two individuals

One from philosophy, and one from psychology

The Buddha equates attachment to suffering

BF Skinner’s operant conditioning demonstrates an emotional neurology

A rat in a cage pushes a lever to get the reward of food

What emotional lever do we push for love and affection?

Why are we so confused?

When we cannot understand, what is love or what is rejection?

RSP

…

DCG

It warms my heart 

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It warms my heart

When you express yourself to me

The excitement of a new job

A new opportunity

Not sure why I seek this connection

I seem to be drawn to you

I yearn to be close

Another déjà vu

Been three months since New Year’s days eve

It was such a great night

But I’m not sure what to believe

From the day I took notice

You have been in my heart and on my mind

Only wanting to know you better

But I think there were things about yourself you didn’t want me to find.

Did I form a trauma bond?

Or was it more than hypnotic empathy?

The connection for me was real

If I misunderstood, then please forgive me 

I do find joy in the feelings that you share

Your well-being means something to me

What is hard is that I see the internal conflict

And then I also see you respond positively

I know if you wanted something more

You would let me know

Whether you consider me a friend

Or whether you consider me a beau

RSP

…

DCG



And so goes our training

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Sometimes we have feelings

That we don’t know how to share

But if you put them under lock and key

You’ll never know if they will care

Use it as motivation

Perspective can balance the soul

Move forward

Let this be a goal

Sometimes we have a flood of emotion

Too strong or too soon to bare

This may guarantee rejection

I think we’ve all been there

Some give up

Some never stop

Repeat the same mistakes

Continue to flop

We are the curator of our own exhibitions

Malaise to malcontent, malady to mischief

That at some point

We must employ the handkerchief

And so goes our training

In the social bonds that we make

 Using our pleasantries, physical attributes and our charms

That we bake into the cake

These recipes will surely vary

It will be tested, and you must sample 

Now you have to find a good customer

One that is compatible as an example

RSP

…

DCG



But the thing to remember

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Not all situations are ideal

When we make attachments and form a bond

Sometimes we overestimate our feelings

Sometimes we under appreciate those whom we are fond

We may overvalue our feelings

The heart may overcompensate

To desire a connection

A relationship we wish to propagate

So many things can happen

We have missed opportunities

Sometimes we miss the signs

We disrupt our possibilities

But this is what makes life interesting

After all is said and done

You certainly won’t be bored

When we’re always looking for fun

Relationships must be earned

Some you win, some you lose

But the thing to remember

Is that you are the one who must choose

…

DCG

Sometimes we don’t invest into the right people 

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Sometimes we don’t invest into the right people

We do not see them as who they are

Maybe they don’t reciprocate?

Maybe they take it too far?

When people recognize our value

We truly appreciate

If our own friends don’t

Then maybe we should reevaluate

we cannot control how other people feel about us

But we can control for whom we associate

Better our chances be

For us to navigate

There are tides of human contact

Sometimes washing away our connectivity

Demoralizing  and depreciating

Making me question “is this what I see“?

There are many complexities

To the bonds that we make

For who’s soul will benefit?

For who’s sake?

Do we self-sabotage?

do we self-sacrifice?

Do we follow the deceiver? 

Or do we follow the Christ?

…

DCG

The consequence of our behavior

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Close my eyes

Bow my head

I am not the center of the universe

I look inward instead

I focus on what is right in front of me

I visualize opportunity

I meditate, I manifest

What will be, will be

Think serendipity

We can influence our reality

Shape our experience

Our outlook on what we see

I always seek to better understand

The consequence of our behavior

The most powerful argument

For having a savior

If it takes a village to raise a child

What does it take to educate an adult?

If you nurture honesty and accountability

Then they will self-correct any other fault?

There are many snakes on the path before us

You will encounter liars and deceit

Be steadfast to the peddlers of manipulation

And remember to always keep the receipt

It’s fair to say

We will be tested and challenged

By the people on the street

Some will destroy our faith with misplaced trust

Yet others will restore our faith when we meet

In any case, I continue my gaze

Looking to connect

To that which I understand

To that which I respect

…

DCG

At least that is what I’ve been told 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Some people will become a part of your story

Whereas others will not

We may regret the ones we lost

We may regret the ones we  fought

The curious cases, we do not often see

Are those who are a great match

But we failed to recognize them properly

When thinking back we say

“ the one that got away”

When we get out of the way from ourselves

Be that as it may

We miscalculate

We don’t read the room

The mistakes of our ego

Makes us exclaim” I am a buffoon.”

If you reflect

And you take some time

You can iron out the wrinkles of your behavior

Since there are plenty to find

Good reasoning is usually the starch

After we launder the persona we wear

Might even make another spin cycle around 

Before we find the right pair

Our best measure to assess our happiness

Is found in relationships we hold

Proportional to our bonds

At least that is what I’ve been told

RSP

…

DCG

It takes two to tango

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So what does it matter?

If I’m a hopeless romantic

When I see what I want

I am soon to go after

If there’s a chase

Then there will be laughter

People will come and go in your life

At some point you will find

There are only some relationships

That are worth getting behind

I think back in my life

I sum it up in this way

I’ve learned from those who have left

I’ve learned from those who have stayed

Mostly I learned about myself

My behavior and what sustains me

ironically it’s not about the self

It’s how we relate to others because that’s what I see

It takes two to tango

But one must follow and one must lead

One part, masculine, one part feminine

For conception one must provide the seed

Establish our roles

Communicate our needs is the dance we make

Building  something together

We benefit from what we create for our sake

Lovers are  lovers 

Friends are friends

The emotional dynamic

Produces a healthy friction for us to bend

RSP

…

DCG





Loyalty and dedication

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Loyalty, and dedication

Go hand and hand

An emotional bond

That marks where we stand

Many people are tribal in nature

They affiliate over a shared ideal 

Easier to express yourself

Easier to tell how you feel

It goes without saying

The degree of the bond depends  on the quality of the trust

Consider the sentiment

“California or bust”

Loyalty has conditions

Dedication requires reciprocity

The division of labor

Must be split equally

Plant a seed

Watch it grow

The more care you give

What you reap is what you sow

Relationships  are no different

The investments we make

are nurtured with care

We must earn before we can take

…

DCG