The Man Adrift



I want to be heard

This boy thought “how absurd”

The younger of two

Was left alone and blue

A child without a choice

A child without a voice

Strangled by fear, not allowed to emote

The tears that are cried

Are left only on the inside

But perhaps one day

The boy in the man can say

I’ve been lost in shame

And work hard to reclaim

A person-hood misplaced

And all value replaced

The struggle I maintain

Must peal years away to sustain

The childhood amiss

May rise again in the man adrift

Churning messages around in the head

Making us wish we were dead



When children are raised with chronic loss, without the psychological or physical protection they need and certainly deserve, it is most natural for them to internalize incredible fear.  Not receiving the necessary psychological or physical protection equals abandonment.  And, living with repeated abandonment experiences creates toxic shame.  Shame arises from the painful message implied in abandonment: “You are not important.  You are not of value.”  This is the pain from which people need to heal.[3]

The topic is dark, but should never be dismissed in our culture as taboo.  The task before us is to identify, recognize, and assist in some kind of treatment program.


FAQ’s for Abandonment

The Refuge treatment info