When the Soul Cries


03bbbf972cee59a7a22d76abf9b02e5d

When the soul cries, our personal tolerance has weathered another trial.  I voice a deeper form of expression that is not just an ordinary form of bereavement, nor is it just another melancholy place or a despondent desolation that is common to many people dealing with a depressed state of mind; The cries of the soul are unique to each and every one of us because we all have different ways of dealing with this inner pain.  The human condition gives us an infinite number of examples in which we bring ourselves down to a primal form of mortification.  There are many reasons for the soul’s demarcation of this circumstance.  Every single human being has experienced something that they can all share among the community because we are all part of a feeling, emoting, thinking, people.  We are reactive beings.

When we do not receive the essential and fundamental communicative expressions of human needs from others, our inner selves want to burst out and scream to the world even if we close ourselves off and say or do nothing.  If you look closely enough, “we cannot not communicate.”  The first principle I learned in a speech communications class which profoundly changed my life was that we as humans are expressive and our inner selves will always show signs (even if it is the micro-expressions on our faces that many people do not notice).  This first principle deliberated by Paul Watzlawick (July 25, 1921 – March 31, 2007)  an Austrian-American family therapist, psychologist, communications theorist, and philosopher.  A theoretician in communication theory and radical constructivism, he commented in the fields of family therapy and general psychotherapy.  Watzlawick believed that people create their own suffering in the very act of trying to fix their emotional problems.  He was one of the most influential figures at the Mental Research Institute and lived and worked in Palo Alto, California.

One cannot not communicate: Every behavior is a form of communication. Because behavior does not have a counterpart (there is no anti-behavior), it is impossible not to communicate.  Even if communication is being avoided (such as the unconscious use of non-verbals or symptom strategy), that is a form of communication. “Symptom strategy” is ascribing our silence to something beyond our control and makes no communication impossible.  Examples of symptom strategy are sleepiness, headaches, and drunkenness.  Even facial expressions, digital communication, and being silent can be analyzed as communication by a receiver.

If we give credence to this principle, than I would like to direct the reader next to Abraham Maslow and his model of Human Hierarchy of Needs.

Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

We are expressive creatures.  We create artistic expression and have a complex language that allows us to communicate in intricate ways.  Maslow contended that we cannot reach a higher level on the needs hierarchy if are lower needs are not being met.  It is my belief that when we do not have enough support in some of our psychological struggles, we will stir until we express ourselves in some way; a signal to the world that we are in some vexing situation that will lead us to cry out and emote this hardship.  Our cognitive skill in negotiating this dilemma is ours to take ownership of.  Sometimes we just cannot think or feel our way out of it.  The cognitive dissonance will drive us to emote a message.

We find many examples of expression through music and the arts.  Just some of the many instances where we can voice an inner dimension that can touch people on deeper levels.  We can see when the soul cries out in a blues song and when the soul sings rejoicing in a happy ephemeral moment!  Both polar dimensions that can have powerful expressive abilities but by in large they originate from the inner sanctions of the soul.

I use the soul as defined including our emotive expressive abilities along with our rational thinking abilities.  We cannot treat the human being on just the logical rationale because we are more than just rational beings.  We are feeling and expressive beings that have multi-variables in determining our conditioning and outcomes of behavior.

Each of us has an expressive nature that is determined by our level of skill in communicating the outcome.  It may seem that some of us are just quiet people who do not flex these expressive emotional and cognitive muscles which may seem true, but on deeper levels I theorize that we all have this expressive nature, and some are better at concealing it than others.  If Paul Watzlawick’s principle is true, than only people close to the less expressive people may be able to find their subtler forms of expressive communications.

 


When the soul cries

When the soul cries

The expressive nature of all

When the soul cries

Another gloomy day, another gloomy call

Money’s tight

It’s cold outside

Can’t pay my rent

Gotta swallow my pride

Broken romance

Can’t fix my car

Misunderstood relationships

Better wish on a shooting star

Chances are dim

If I keep on this path

Break my silence

Or face the wrath

Outta luck

Outta time

Forever in ruin

Brother can you spare a dime?

We all have needs

We all need hope

Faith and love

Gotta have these to cope

So if you see me

And I’m in despair

How will I tell you?

How will you care?

When we see what we want

We don’t see the whole

Only part of the picture

Only part of the soul

DCG

A Reasonable Plea in Social Media Propriety


Divided we Fall Let not ignorance be your guide
Divided we Fall
Let not ignorance be your guide

 

After viewing the social media feeds, it becomes clear we have a storm of negative influence designed to change public opinion.  Whether they influence us or not, that is up to us.  We control how we reason, and how our logic creates our beliefs, and opinions.

When we divide ourselves using petty annoyances and ignorant contrivance, we show others our conditioned beliefs, what we stand for, or what we stand against, and the content of our characters.  When we listen to sources that will have us bicker over issues that are clearly not imperative, we become the pawns and servants to the propaganda that we entangle ourselves with.

I care not to which political system of ideologues you engage with, but if we continue to divide ourselves over callow name calling as we do, there will not even be a chance for us to have any open debate.

Kurt Vonnegut

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
(George Santayana)

Free speech has already been under attack.  The U.S. is now criminalizing dissent,  and has legalized propaganda.

Before we turn on ourselves over the massive propaganda machine constructed to subdue and structure public opinion, we should first educate ourselves, research the facts and cross-reference them, before we attack and attempt to dismantle the opinions that are commonly expressed on social media by our friends, family, and social groups we publicize with.


Allen Ginsberg

“Whoever controls the media, the
images, controls the culture.”
Allen Ginsberg

Abraham Lincoln

“If there is anything that links the human to the divine, it is the courage to stand by a principle when everybody else rejects it.”
Abraham Lincoln

Oscar Wilde

“By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.”
Oscar Wilde

Alexander Pope

“The Wit of Cheats, the Courage of a Whore,
Are what ten thousand envy and adore:
All, all look up, with reverential Awe,
At crimes that ‘scape, or triumph o’er the Law:
While Truth, Worth, Wisdom, daily they decry-`
‘Nothing is sacred now but Villainy’- Epilogue to the Satires, Dialogue I”
Alexander Pope

George Orwell

“The relative freedom which we enjoy depends of public opinion. The law is no protection. Governments make laws, but whether they are carried out, and how the police behave, depends on the general temper in the country. If large numbers of people are interested in freedom of speech, there will be freedom of speech, even if the law forbids it; if public opinion is sluggish, inconvenient minorities will be persecuted, even if laws exist to protect them.”
George Orwell

Ayn Rand

“He saw the article…which was not an expression of ideas, but a bucket of slime emptied in public—an article that did not contain a single fact, not even an invented one, but poured a stream of sneers and adjectives in which nothing was clear except the filthy malice of denouncing without considering proof necessary.”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Henry David Thoreau

“Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.
Henry David Thoreau, Walden & Civil Disobedience

People Hearing without Listening


 

Advice given from a sibling, parent, or a friend can be a troubling liability and will probably meet resistance from the recipient if it is unwelcome.  They may wish to impart wisdom to aid you, but many times we do not benefit from having another person give us advice unless it is sought out in the first place.  We in defiance of these verbal gems may just be able to figure it out ourselves, yet we are often stifled in the process when others impose their own thoughts upon our concerns.  For me, the purpose for telling others my struggles is not so much in asking them for their opinions and seeking out their counsel, as it is rather to hear myself working through the episode aloud and gain an empathetic allegiance from others knowing that I am perfectly capable of solving most of life’s curve balls.

If indeed they do listen to us, the act of which becomes a powerful talisman, can allow us to become silently supported without intervention of another opinion, and use our creative powers to free ourselves from the binding structures of our own creations.  They wish no harm to us, and they only want to help, but in replying to us by way of offering us guidance can lead to complete communication failure.  They are diminishing their respect for us and only promoting their solutions to “our problems”, something they do not own, nor in most cases have any involvement with.

People become transfixed into solving problems, and often make the mistake of offering their opinions about how to “fix” the problems other people are having when hearing their narratives.  Unfortunately these offerings only bring about a convoluted result.  They diminish the other person in that others often reach out for “understanding”, not necessarily soliciting others for information on “how” to fix the situation they are in.  Many times our situations do not need “fixing”.  Contrarily, I contend that the telling of our agitations to others in the presence of being “understood” elevates the psyche with strong medicinal factors to those that are ailing from these vexations.  It is not that we are incapable, it is only that we need understanding and thus supported in the process of listening over hearing any opinions on what the solutions may be to our healing.

 

 

If we lose our audience, we lose our trust in them.  My belief is largely based on my studies as an undergraduate in psychology.  I am disposed to thinking that Carl Rogers’ approach in his consultations was key in establishing a healthy working dynamic in communication.  Rogers believed that a therapist who embodies these three critical and reflexive attitudes will help liberate their client to more confidently express their true feelings without fear of judgement.

  1. Congruence – the willingness to transparently relate to clients without hiding behind a professional or personal facade.
  2. Unconditional positive regard – the therapist offers an acceptance and prizing for their client for who he or she is without conveying disapproving feelings, actions or characteristics and demonstrating a willingness to attentively listen without interruption, judgement or giving advice.
  3. Empathy – the therapist communicates their desire to understand and appreciate their clients perspective.

To do this, the client-centered therapist carefully avoids directly challenging their client’s way of communicating themselves in the session to enable a deeper exploration of the issues most intimate to them and free from external referencing.  Rogers was not prescriptive in telling his clients what to do, but believed that the answers to the patients’ questions were within the patient and not the therapist.  Accordingly the therapists’ role was to create a facilitative, empathic environment wherein the patient could discover the answers for him or herself.  If we draw a line of comparison to human relationships in general, the implications and successful communication dynamics are largely influenced by the work achieved from Rogers.

 

It is my bias, my understanding, and my study that have led me to conclude that human communications are indeed a highly esteemed skill to employ.  I am by no means an expert, I am by no means an authority, but when my inner fortitude becomes subject for an outsiders quibble (no matter how well intended they may be); and I find myself hearing the feedback from those whom may want to engage me with their psychological summations and epilogue’s, I lose all confidence in their credulity and am fully disenchanted.


 

“The Sound Of Silence”

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.

“Fools,” said I, “You do not know –
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you.
Take my arms that I might reach you.”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence.

 Paul Simon

S&G

 


 

The Specious Habits of Perception


When you don’t share the same reality of experience with another person, you can become lost in the haze and fog of perception.  Perception is a precursor to the reality you see.  The way you see the world is dependent on your beliefs, and your beliefs are dependent on your perceptions.  So how is it that we ever manage to share a reality that we can together identify and discuss intelligently if our perceptions of the world are completely different?

One of the hardest things for me to deal with as a person is when you are in a disagreement with another person, (especially a family member), and it is almost impossible to come to any sort of cooperative resolution, because the reality of what was experienced is widely different, and thus only non-significant minor affirmations are the only remnants to agree upon.  When there is no shared reality of the events which are in question, then a distortion of our perceptions of what has taken place is convoluted and smeared with prejudice; and this can be frustrating and defeating in attempts to establish any mutual starting points.

I have struggled with such matters very close to my heart due to the estranged relationships I have experienced in my life.  When one loses any presence or continuity in a relationship, when one looses confidence, trust or credibility in another’s eyes, then it is an uphill battle to regain a reconciliation.  Why many relationships that have reached this point are so easily dismissed by those that do not think otherwise due to the disintegration of the emotional connections is self-evident.

The most hurtful is when a distortion of perception takes another away from what was once a shared experience, but with time, changes in age, and opposing influence outside of your control, other perceptions will also shape the beliefs of a person, and thus shape their reality of the world around them.  There are so many messages from the media that try to shape our perceptions about what we should buy, drink, eat, consume, wear, ad infinitum.  This technique is also very common in our schools and what our teachers instruct to our children.  A lesson to learn is that one should never take for granted the shared experience, because it can vanish before your eyes.  Those who do not study history, are susceptible to failing to learn from past accounts and this begets frequent examples of such lessons not learned; namely those who denied the Holocaust, going to war because of the threat of weapons of mass destruction, believing in global warming due to human interaction with the environment, or even nine out of ten dentists prefer a certain toothpaste, etc.

I ask the readers to ponder about such circumstances, what have you experienced?  What was your resolution?  I have spent my share of time thinking on such matters and have felt an immense amount of disheartenment.  The details of these matters are very personal and astonishingly painful.  I do not speak of delusional ego defenses, or patterns of poor judgements that have held me beholden to a servitude of denial.  The pain comes from the understanding that life can be a pernicious series of episodes that may never see their karmic end, and may continue to further echo a perception of the world that does not agree with my core vision.  If judgements are rendered before the trial has even begun allowing for all evidence to be examined, then the likelihood of justice served is next to nonexistent.  “Judge not that ye be not judged” (Mathew 7:1-3 KJV) might be the mantra spoken here.

When Mother Teresa was asked if she needed help with money or fundraising in a town she was visiting to see the opening of a shelter, she replied, no thanks, that there was nothing anyone could do for her since her cause was not about money, or publicity. When asked again if they could somehow do something to help, she replied….“If you really want to do something, wake up at 4am and go out on the streets and find someone living there that believes they are alone, and convince them they are not!

So the question now becomes how to make reparations despite the circumstances.  I believe it has something to do with manifestation.  Manifesting is not about getting things that are not here.  It is about attracting what is already here and is a part of you.  The deck may be stacked against you, but it is precisely on how you play that hand, that will determine the vibe and vibrato of the energy you posit into the world despite the past inequities of the world that you have experienced.  I refer the readers to the works by Dr. Wayne Dyer.

All of us have within us this amazing capacity to manifest and attract anything we want into our lives,” Dr. Dyer states. “In [the book] ‘The Secret,’ they say you get what you want, what is missing… What has come to me… is that you say, ‘I will attract into my life what I am.’… That’s the difference: You get what you are rather than what you want.”

To do this, Dr. Dyer says that you must be in alignment with your source, with a divine source.  This doesn’t mean simply wishing for something and expecting it to appear. “You can’t go around and ask these divine beings — angels, whatever you want to call them — to ‘help me out,'” Dr. Dyer says. “You have to become like they are.”

Instead, Dr. Dyer encourages people to become “angelic” — to give, to serve, to be completely free of judgment and criticism toward all other beings.

But we’re human, and human emotions fall across a wide spectrum. So, what should you do when the negative thoughts inevitably creep up?

“Even if your senses tell you that you’re depressed… you don’t say, ‘I am depressed,'” Dr. Dyer says. “If you say, ‘I am depressed,’ you connect with depression and the universal source — God or whatever you want to call it — will align in such a way to offer you… more depression.”

Dr. Dyer advises that people take a different approach. “By placing into your imagination what you want and assuming the feeling of that wish as already fulfilled, you go through your life feeling that,” he says. “When enough of us do that, we will transform this planet.”

My own personal encounters with inequity, resistance and strife have sent me on a journey that rarely circumvented my obstacles since they were right in front of me, I choose to acknowledge them on their own terms head on.  I found this not to be a very successful tactic and eventually found other resources to deal with these problematic scenarios.  If you become angry, you live with the energy that anger creates.  This may be necessary and helpful at times, but the end result is that you do not ultimately overcome resistance by fighting it in this way in the long run.  A prime example is Mahatma Gandhi’s use of civil disobedience through nonviolence in that his ethical thinking was heavily influenced by a handful of books, which he repeatedly meditated upon.  They included especially Plato‘s Apology and John Ruskin‘s Unto this Last (1862) (both of which he translated into his native Gujarati); William Salter’s Ethical Religion (1889); Henry David Thoreau‘s On the Duty of Civil Disobedience (1849); and Leo Tolstoy‘s The Kingdom of God Is Within You (1894).  Ruskin inspired his decision to live an austere life on a commune, at first on the Phoenix Farm in Natal and then on the Tolstoy Farm just outside Johannesburg, South Africa.

So embrace the positive, deflect the negative.  Like energies attract like energies.  Again quoting Ghandi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world!”  Attract what you have within you by engaging the world in this way.  This will be a very hard thing to do if you are caught up in the negative aspects of ego-related issues, but being mindful of this will help you break free of these traps.

Rabindranath Tagore

“Most people believe the mind to be a mirror, more or less accurately reflecting the world outside them, not realizing on the contrary that the mind is itself the principal element of creation.”
Rabindranath Tagore

William James “Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.”

William James

“The waking have one world in common; sleepers have each a private world of his own.”
Heraclitus

Mother Teresa

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
Mother Teresa

⚖⚖⚖

You can look at the menu, but you just can’t eat
You can feel the cushion, but you can’t have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can’t have a swim
You can feel the punishment, but you can’t commit the sin
And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

You can build a mansion, but you just can’t live in it
You’re the fastest runner but you’re not allowed to win
Some break the rules, and live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won’t get lost
And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her, and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

You can see the summit but you can’t reach it
Its the last piece of the puzzle but you just can’t make it fit
Doctor says you’re cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her, and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame

No One Is To Blame
–Howard Jones —