passion

Which will be my finality? 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

You can bury your emotions and feelings

Way way down and deep

But you can’t forget them

If attached to a painful memory that you no longer want to keep

You learn from childhood that You must suppress your feelings

You tell me “they are something you just don’t do“

At the same time, you wipe the tears away and say

Shoo fly shoo

We both fear abandonment

You dismissively avoid and I anxiously attach

A magnetic connection

Prone to an abrupt dispatch

No, I won’t talk

I’ll just listen

Write another poem

About what we’re missin’

The hardest thing I’ve ever done

Caught between two realities

With or without you

Which will be my finality?

RSP

…

DCG

Already Gone

Song by Kelly Clarkson ‧ 2009

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they’re haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die

I didn’t want us to burn out
I didn’t come here to hurt you now
I can’t stop

I want you to know
That it doesn’t matter
Where we take this road
Someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn’t have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I’m already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you’ll find another
That doesn’t always make you wanna cry
Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn’t keep this love alive

You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
That it doesn’t matter
Where we take this road
Someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn’t have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I’m already gone

I’m already gone
Already gone
You can’t make it feel right
When you know that it’s wrong
I’m already gone
Already gone
There’s no moving on
So I’m already gone

Already gone
Already gone
Ooh, oh
Already gone
Already gone
Already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they’re haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know
That it doesn’t matter
Where we take this road
Someone’s gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn’t have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I’m already gone

I’m already gone
Already gone
You can’t make it feel right
When you know that it’s wrong
I’m already gone
Already gone
There’s no moving on
So I’m already gone

One built for me and you

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The closer I get to you

The farther I drift away

When you suppress your feelings

It makes it so hard for me to stay 

“The closer you get to the fire

The more you get burned

But that won’t happen to us

Cause it’s always been a matter of trust”

When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with

You want to start the rest of your life ASAP

But this can only be true

If you can see the we 

The choice is yours

The choice is mine

How it works out

Is known only by the divine

I’ll work on myself

Try to end this cycle of pain

See the attachment for what it is

Hoping it is not all in vain

I know you are aware

I know you sense the same

These demons that we share

Makes it hard to hide our shame

I don’t give up easily

I believe the possibility is true

There is a chance for happiness

One built for me and you

RSP

…

DCG



However, it turns out 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

My heart is committed

As are my soul and my mind

Where this path leads

Only God knows I pray I will find

I ask for God to work through me

Where God is the hand and I am the glove

Without him, I am motionless

But with him, I am filled with direction and love

Indeed, we are created in his image and likeness

His presence within our body and soul

The recommended relationship to have

If you want to fill the empty hole

You might think me crazy RP

You might continue to build a wall

I’ll stand by you if you need me

I’ll support you if you fall

I ask out of selfless passion

To inspire and uplift you to heal

I can do this if you allow me

Can we make a deal?

You’ve often told me you don’t know how to complete me

I say you already have as my reply

Sometimes we don’t see

What’s behind the other person‘s eyes?

The intensity deep inside me

This connection that we share

A trick of my nervous system?

Or do we really care?

Weather, we sacrifice or sabotage

Are we willing to take a stand?

However, it turns out

I’ll always extend my hand

RSP

…

DCG

Because this is my heart‘s echo 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When you are in my heart

I do not feel so empty or deficient

When you are in my thoughts

I feel my purpose knowing you are self sufficient 

We have both experienced a similar childhood  neglect

And because of this, I formed with you a bond

We have never really spoken much about it

I think I know just how you will respond

I see you as a mirror to my own inner reflection

I know I must do the work and look within

I have an opportunity to become a better man

I take a moment of silence, I pray, and then I begin

You have opened up a side of me

I never really knew The remains

Of such a deeply hurt little boy

Needing to heal and make a change

Prior to knowing you

I’ve always intellectualized my pain

I never really made the emotional connection

Of just how lost I became

You have touched me very deeply

You’ve broken through the barriers that I present

It was you who awakened me from my emotional dream

Of which there is no more time that needs to be spent

I consider you a blessing

There is something I want you to know 

Maybe we crossed paths for a reason?

Because this is my heart‘s echo 

RSP

…

DCG

It warms my heart 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It warms my heart

When you express yourself to me

The excitement of a new job

A new opportunity

Not sure why I seek this connection

I seem to be drawn to you

I yearn to be close

Another déjà vu

Been three months since New Year’s days eve

It was such a great night

But I’m not sure what to believe

From the day I took notice

You have been in my heart and on my mind

Only wanting to know you better

But I think there were things about yourself you didn’t want me to find.

Did I form a trauma bond?

Or was it more than hypnotic empathy?

The connection for me was real

If I misunderstood, then please forgive me 

I do find joy in the feelings that you share

Your well-being means something to me

What is hard is that I see the internal conflict

And then I also see you respond positively

I know if you wanted something more

You would let me know

Whether you consider me a friend

Or whether you consider me a beau

RSP

…

DCG



And so goes our training

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we have feelings

That we don’t know how to share

But if you put them under lock and key

You’ll never know if they will care

Use it as motivation

Perspective can balance the soul

Move forward

Let this be a goal

Sometimes we have a flood of emotion

Too strong or too soon to bare

This may guarantee rejection

I think we’ve all been there

Some give up

Some never stop

Repeat the same mistakes

Continue to flop

We are the curator of our own exhibitions

Malaise to malcontent, malady to mischief

That at some point

We must employ the handkerchief

And so goes our training

In the social bonds that we make

 Using our pleasantries, physical attributes and our charms

That we bake into the cake

These recipes will surely vary

It will be tested, and you must sample 

Now you have to find a good customer

One that is compatible as an example

RSP

…

DCG



A one-sided love affair

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

What have you learned?

What have you lost?

What have you earned?

What was the cost? 

Even the saint

Will feel the burn

When raw emotion erupts

And there is nowhere to turn

Unrequited love

Never reaches an end

No resolution

Of anything you send

You cannot keep

What cannot be kept

Despite all the tears

After you’ve wept

Is there a lesson?

Nothing gained or nothing lost

Was it destiny?

Or was it a coin toss?

Have you ever had?

A one-sided love affair?

Not enough to love you back?

Not enough to care?

Did you open up too much?

What vulnerabilities did you bare?

Did they freeze up and stare?

Please tell me, I dare!

Even through the heartache

Even after the pain

Do you still forgive them?

After the feelings wane?

When timing is everything

And the stars align

You and I collide

Our hearts just may resign

There is no certainty

No formula, no magic potion

For finding love

Or mutual devotion

RSP

…

DCG



I’ll prove every day that you can trust me

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I once told you

That I didn’t know if I could complete you

But what I didn’t say

Was even more true

I would never stop trying

That is if we agree

To make something out of it

I’ll prove every day you can trust me

I know these thoughts seem impulsive

But these words, I must speak

I feel a strong connection

As this is what I seek

I luv the way you express yourself

When discouraged you say you were mortified

When happy you light up like you have been electrified

Just a few of the reasons for my attraction

You’ve read my poems so you must be aware

I’m sending you these messages

Because I truly do care

RSP

…

DCG

Converging destiny’s that may collide

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

A ray of sunlight dances on your head

In through the blinds a beam of light splits the night

As you lay upon your bed

The fragrance of your hair

The touch of your skin

Would almost guarantee

The defiance of a sin

I’m not sure the ways of this world

The nature of the universe in which we live

Over and over I wrestle with God

This inspiration I have that directs me to give

We travel on a similar path

Converging destiny’s that may collide

Is this why we gravitate towards each other?

Just how will we decide? How will we confide?

You may think we are too different

But this is not what I see

Those superficial differences are a distraction

Somehow I deeply feel you emotionally

You once told me I’m a man

And all that I want is to have you physically

If I told you something different

Than a liar I would be?

Prove you wrong, Prove you right

We shall have to see

I think maybe this choice

Is only decided by we

Thank you for the honesty

A clearer path ahead

I’m reminded you still don’t really know me

On this road that I tread

In the right moment

In the right time

You will know how you feel

If you look you will find

…

DCG

Life is too precious

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I embrace the joy

When I see the things line up in place

Time spent together

Sharing the world as I look upon your face

Knowing there is no expectation

Knowing only these feelings that stand

Part of the uncertainty

Is built into the hand

I don’t rely on criticisms

They only detract from the moment

One can spend a lifetime

To that which is unspoken

That which is meaningful

Is better when it is said

Never leave the heart unopened

Never leave it only in your head

Life is too precious

Rejoice in what life can offer

Too many of us never act

We leave it in an unused coffer

…

DCG