Mental Health

I’m trying to seek approval

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I am trying to seek approval

Because of my father‘s love I never had

He neglected my feelings

I grew up, emotionally fractured, broken, and sad

This is very common

People form a trauma bond

The underlying attraction they feel

Is a masquerade and is still wrong

The familiarity in attachment theory

Has profound implications

Deeply embedded into our  intimacy responses 

Within our primary relations

the more I have studied this behavior

The deepest silent anguish of misery

From those who do not even recognize their condition

will continue to commiserate on their injury

The abhorrent parenting practices

Leave their forsaken children in emotional chains

The atrocious mothers and fathers

Will never see their own children’s pain

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https://youtube.com/shorts/krrUECw1Vkw?si=7R_0Wiz8jvGgcJHa

RSP

…

DCG

See John Bowlby‘s work on attachment theory

See spark growth on YouTube 

@sparkgrowthofficial 

Breathe deeply

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Release of anxiety

Release of any trauma

Forgiveness must be made

To let go of any drama

Breathe deeply

Pain has an unrelenting hold

Have faith to let go

Face the truth or so I am told 

Maybe it’s denial

Not facing up to your pain

Using a bad coping strategy

Going around and around again

For the avoidant

They will rarely ever learn

If you keep yourself busy enough to make a turn

You will always yearn

Sometimes the child within us

Has never learned to grow

Be very cautious

To those who are unwilling or afraid to show

RSP

…

DCG

https://youtube.com/shorts/Tr8n-qTfdgI?si=-l216YrIr7N8Kdsd

https://youtube.com/shorts/jOKZc3pu4Tw?si=wn8FzNP_kvjZtfL2

You won’t know until the silence hit you

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The quickest path of victimhood

Is through the expression of passive-aggressive, dismissive-avoidant denial

The gauntlet is thrown in defeat

The indignation and sentence are exposed pre-trial

At attachment theory, dismissive-avoidant and anxiously attached

Both have triggers

Both have a 22 catch

You won’t know until the silence hits you

You have to experience it before you can see

 we have to prevent what triggers us

To face what is truly reality 

If you pull back far enough, the problem within you is evident but you are afraid to see

Your emotional paralysis is not mature

Your perpetual stagnation

Is all you endure

A self fulfilling prophecy

Meets a self sabotaging force

You’re not able to navigate

If you can’t chart a course

Take a snapshot

What do we know?

Severe emotional neglect

Stunted feelings, you never allow to grow

How do you deal if you don’t know how to heal?

What is wild?

You are part woman

No, you are part child

Survivors of emotional trauma

And childhood neglect

May Bond together

Attached to the trauma they connect

The perks of being a wallflower

When you see it, it hits a nerve

“Sometimes we accept the love

We think we deserve”

RSP

…

DCG

It’s your spirit that’s longing to suffer no more 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment


To forgive is not just to lighten their load,
But to free your own soul from the burdens you’ve owed.
For holding to hurt is a road that won’t end,
A journey that circles, that never will mend.
Unforgiveness, a poison that seeps in the heart,
It chains us in darkness and keeps us apart.
It’s not for their sake that you open the door—
It’s your spirit that’s longing to suffer no more.
Release the old memory, let bitterness cease,
And give your own spirit the gift of some peace.
Forgiveness is healing, a balm for the soul,
It’s cutting the tether and making you whole.
So set down the anger, let go of the pain,
And walk in the sunlight, unshackled by blame.
For the one who is freed by the act you begin—
Is the soul in the mirror, forgiving within.

— for Robyn—

RSP

…

DCG

The atrophy of anxiety

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

We don’t have to be afraid of our own shadows

Don’t have to fear what’s under the bed

Part of growing up

Is learning how to get ahead

Anxiety is a misunderstanding of our perceptions

We create the worry, we create the threat

When we find we are wrong

We may then regret

We find security in a teddy bear as children

We find security in healthy relationships as adults

It takes effort and self reflection

Before we can achieve good results

Maturity and experience will mitigate many irrational thoughts

But it is our subconscious that unknowingly steers us

Into internal conflict

And control us it does

Awareness and education

Is the first defense

Now add courage and some luck

Might save you any further suspense

If you are honest with yourself

Then progress you will make

And if you are not genuine

You’re piece of mind is on the take

Self advocate

Learn to self improve

Opportunity to move forward

Is on any day you choose

The atrophy of anxiety

Is ultimately up to you

How are you choose to cope

What you choose to do

…

DCG

Time only lives in the now

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Time only lives in the now

It is ever-present in what we observe

There is no past

With exception to a memory that we reserve

We do not experience a future

With exception to prophecy

But even then

It is only a mental vision that we see

There is no linear time

The Taoist monk would say

Only effortless action

Wu Wei (Woo way)

We are limited beings

With a finite mind

Can we really conceive?

Of limitless time?

Hence the paradox

With only one solution

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

They both surrender

This provides the resolution

The mind can play tricks on us

Thus was born philosophy

Just how much do we understand?

Given our own psychology 



…

DCG

Rupert Spira

https://youtu.be/LjDhov4p6Sg?si=f5UcKTw8x15iUkfr

It is not uncommon to misdiagnose our past 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It’s hard to gain any ground

When you confabulate

So in retrospect

You must question what you reflect and communicate

With every decade we ponder

The pros and cons of the emotional inventory spent

The more we regret

The more we lament

Growing pains are the by-product

Of reason and accountability

The price and the rite of passage

In our maturity

It is not uncommon to misdiagnose our past 

The motivation is not lost

But it is the result

When we find out the cost

The wisdom we seek

Will benefit us if we pay attention

Some memories may mislead 

Unless we have proper retention

Experience and practice

May dispel a memory

If one is in question

In our receptivity 

…

DCG

I self sabotage

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When I have guilt

When I have shame

I self sabotage

That’s who I blame

I don’t feel worthy

I don’t feel sane

I self sabotage

That’s where I put my blame

Guilt is from choices I’ve made

Shame is from identifying with inadequacy

My father used to put me down

He put me down so masterfully

Abandonment issues

Little self-esteem

The child inside me

Has a diminishing dream

You see I’ve had difficulty in relationships

I had a difficult childhood

And with my low self-esteem

My cognitive dissonance stood

RSP

…

DCG

At least I gave it a shot 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

When the mind is weary

It can become overwhelmed and confused

One must then use a counter balance

Before one can defuse

There is nothing wrong with confusion

If it forces you to think

Consider all sides

And be distinct

Sound mind and sound body

Common sense can balance the equation

Activate your intelligence

And confront the mind-virus invasion

Some of our problems take time to work through

Patience, reflection, and persistence

Is the prescription

In times of unsolved resistance

The Tao resolves conflict with Wei wu Wei

Zen resolves conflict; human suffering as attachment

Hence you cannot grasp and cling to your breath

One must always exhale for detachment

On the other hand

The Confucian is the pragmatist

Resolution is common sense

No need for the iron fist

The American surfer knows

How to escape a riptide

Surrender to the water current

And not to their own pride

The will imposes maladaptive behaviors

And maladaptive thought

When we fail, we say

“At least I gave it a shot”

RSP

…

DCG

Old wounds can heal

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

We learn from experience

We learn from dreams

We learn from others

Sometimes these lessons are not what they seem

Forged with reason and emotion

This imprint attaches to our soul

Sometimes they change with the times

Sometimes they’re put out on parole

Attachment to anything

Either pleasure or pain

May not serve us after the fact

And may just be in vain

Memories can last a lifetime

Our ability to deal with them will change

Old wounds can heal

As this is not really that strange

…

DCG