There are times when we wake
From a trance like sleep
Giving in to an inner voice
Making promises we can’t keep
It is precisely in this time
We should vindicate our aspiration
Acknowledging a conflict building
Within this mindful vexation
Become clear about what is important
Clarify this in your deeds
Do not let unworthy influence
Give council that often misleads
WikiPsalm #Thirteen
DCG
innocence is taken
A worldview now changed
Conflict we create
Conflict we sustain
There are no shadows in the darkness
They only appear in the spotlight
Memories go undisturbed
If they remain out of our sight
We blindfold ourselves
The hard truths that we have forgotten
This doesn’t take the sting away
Out of the misbegotten
I need your support
I can’t see the light anymore
I’m surrounded by this darkness
Can’t find my way to the door
The thing about self-reliance
We sometimes lose our way
The solace we seek is hidden
Beneath the pain in our decay
We hide this from those around us
Family, friends, and our workmates
Only to endure this suffering
A dark force within that resonates
The awakening to tip the scale
Can always be found in this daze
Allow yourself to be in the present
The past is but a fog and a haze
The choice becomes right before us
With every breath and every step we take
Walk in the light of our knowing
That this path is ours to make
…
DCG
What value do we place on individuality?
Why is just being yourself so difficult? Being comfortable in your own skin meeting the world as it meets us will often place us in situations that test our resolve. When we persuade ourselves to be something we are not, when we try to convince ourselves to do something we should not in reaction to some event that confronts us simply because we are doubting our true identity, we risk losing our inner sense of perspective and betray our true selves. It is hard to predict the outcomes, but I think we may little by little lose ourselves to conformity. For a nonconformist, conformity is the slowest form of suicide.
Is social pressure greater to our sense of belonging that we must struggle to subdue our own individuality? In art and music, individuality is highly praised, even though many artists are inspired by others before them, they create something anew from something that has gone before, putting their own fingerprint on it somehow, someway. I believe there is a strong correlation between self confidence and individuality.
Perhaps we just have not found ourselves, know how we fit into a situation and we therefore try on different persona’s to see how they fare? We may not have a strong sense of self and adopt others styles, attitudes, or opinions for convenience so that we can be a part of something. We try on these persona’s like they are clothing, interchanging our identities as if they are fashion items, and discarding them when they go out of style. Wanting to fit in is a very strong motivator when we want to be a part of something and often leads us to behave in like manner in our social gatherings. Surprisingly we will also follow in kind with our logic and ethical thought.
Being human, and testing out new perspectives on ourselves can have healthy outcomes. It is when we force ourselves to adopt principles that we may not fully understand or endorse that alienate us from our true selves, or our moral selves that may cause us to have doubt during this time, yet we continue to behave in ways that we are not completely aligned with. The cognitive dissonance may eventually change us if this occurs as we may possibly be forced to alter our opinion, or alter our behavior to once again align for there to be intellectual and behavioral cohesion.
The problem for many is that they do not think about the consequences of their behaviors or thoughts, they have not given their position a full understanding, and are often lost to the potential pitfalls of reasoning or behaving. The lifestyle choice they have adopted may bring them elements that are not bargained for in their initial reckoning of it. This is of course what every human experiences on some level since we are not perfect beings, we fail, make mistakes in our judgements, and therefore modify our thinking or behavior after we test it out in the world. The notion of applying our common sense, and pragmatically living by learning from our mistakes is a common denominator that is experienced worldwide and has graced the teachings of Confucius, Buddha, American Pragmatism, and other thinkers though-out the ages.
When learning something new, one should worry about being unable to reach it. When one has learnt something, one should worry about forgetting it.
Confucius
It is complementary to adopt another persons influence on us when we demonstrate the impact they have on us. We model their behavior by doing what they have done. We see the world through another perspective, but a line should be drawn when we blur the distinction so much that we lose ourselves in living another persons vision. Blind impersonation is merely an imitation, to make it your own, one should adapt it to a vision that is personalized and reflects a view unique to you. Making the decisions to adopt things learned in a social environment is normal and expected. To make them work for you is up to you and your deployment of these pearls of wisdom. What I found most interesting during the younger years of my journey was the expectations of others in my encounters. The social interactions between strangers, and even friends often surprised me. As I grew older and experienced more, these conventions of conduct became more and more familiar to me, allowing me to navigate with more certainty.
Differing opinion on how we see the world is the basis for our differing on how we should proceed in the maze of human conduct. The point of singularity that changed me was when I adopted a corporate philosophy and core value system espoused to me by the company I worked for which my leadership did not wholly adopt with any sense of integrity, and therefore left me disillusioned thinking that they would follow the rules of conduct that they taught me. The larger the group, the stickier the code of conduct may become. The politics of being human has many inequitable outcomes for different people.
I can safely say that no matter what philosophy an entity adopts, following it is an entirely different question and much more important. The adoption of ideas are only as good as the behaviors that demonstrate them, namely: behavior is more powerful than words.
So I say one should be themselves in this world as much as one can be. The convergence of the pool of individuality is constantly blurred in the grand scheme of things and enters into a social construct of conformity. But also is the unique perspectives of individuals that should be held in high esteem, for there is no learning without climbing upon others shoulders to see what could not be seen before. The necessary progression of advancing is often helped by those around us.
Why do we dwell on an emotionally charged idea, or maybe why do we dismiss it altogether? Have you thought about just how you have formed your ideas and beliefs about the world, and what just prevents us from dismissing the baggage we often collect? Are we willing to question the foundations of our belief system when there is a conflict about what we’re told, and what we deem true?
The lack of having any external support group when you are feeling low is excruciatingly painful. The strength to pick oneself up is much harder, when your internal voice has to operate without prejudice, when your internal voice diminishes your own internal criticisms that are weighing heavily upon you so that you may overcome the obstacles that you face. Having conflicting conscious thoughts will always place you under scrutiny with your own judgments and this is sometimes a burden we do not freely share with others only to quietly suffer within our own creation of doubt. But why must we anguish over these times of self-doubt? Perhaps it is because we listen and acquire information from sources that give us a faulty valuation. We’re taught to listen and respect our elders, the authority figures in our lives since they have benefited from their experience for more years than we have. But I urge the reader to question authority since the argument is of a qualitative nature, and not one based on a quantitative accumulation of knowledge despite its inherent appeal to some.
If an internal struggle of conflicting feelings and thoughts that are remnants from adversarial external sources which have filtered into part of our thinking, then it may result as a troublesome cognition. At a time of duress, we may give these critical token thoughts more weight than what is actually merited. When we have contrary thoughts that disturb our resolve, we may lose focus on what is important and lose our bearings within the fog of ridicule. If the diagnosis is a conflict that we ultimately control, and that we are the sole proprietors of our appraisals, then why does this seem to accommodate antagonism within our own minds? Are we not in the best place to undertake a corrective direction in our thinking? The answer could just be the way our thinking normally occurs. How we process our information, and how we learn this information influences our decisions on how we also filter what we think we know and have come to believe.
How our thinking has evolved through-out our lives with a blending of experience, observation, rational, and emotional syntheses that have created and forged our thoughts and influenced our belief systems is commonly accepted as fact. Some beliefs are conscious, and some operate on deeper levels we may not be consciously aware of. I submit that we are creatures of habit, including our processes of reasoning. Over time we form patterns of thought based on presuppositions about how we see the world. Our patterns of thinking are much like a learned response directly correlated to the sympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is one of three major parts of the autonomic nervous system (the others being the enteric and parasympathetic systems). Its general action is to mobilize the body’s nervous system fight-or-flight response. It is, however, constantly active at a basic level to maintain homeostasis. The homeostatic response to the world in our belief system may just operate at levels we do not question or lend ourselves to very often, hence the subconscious thoughts that drive many of our conscious thoughts bring about deeply felt concepts that influence us. Whether we are to conclude self-doubt in times of conflict or conversely whether we are influenced on an alternate level is due to these presuppositions we rarely question. They are the subroutines in our daily thoughts, the notions that lead us to make conclusions binding feeling and logic together that can change the way we see the world. A convoluted fabric of thought, feeling and drives that work together to create a consistent view of what we observe that may at times disrupt our lives when conflicting notions enter into this process.
As children we develop a basis for meeting the world on how the world is presented to us. Most children have a very natural way of experiencing the world, until they matriculate through the cultural pathways placing various lenses upon their scope to shape a reality largely based upon the teaching of their families. Much of what is cultivated on pre-cognitive levels comes at a very early age, between birth and maybe six years of age. The developmental stages of childhood maturation are still in development and not yet “hard-wired” at this age. Our mental processes are forming from the examples given to us by our families and we build upon these foundations as we grow. It is precisely some of these foundations that we no longer tap into and question. They are the subroutines, the pre-cognitive staples that formulate some of our learned beliefs about the world. They are very elusive since they are found in deeper structures within the brain, given the immense amount of neural pathways formed in childhood and developing until they lose their functionality. The principles on which we form our ideas is largely influenced by these obscure percipient vestiges of thought. We are seldom taught the skill to search deeper into our assumptions. The contributions of Ludwig Wittgenstein in his philosophy of language are an invaluable insight on this topic when analytic philosophy is applied to our logic.
If these premises are sound, then where does that lead us? Does this explain why hypnotic suggestion can displace deeper modes of thought we seldom have access to? Why the importance of right thinking in the eightfold path is crucial for Buddhism? Why the Zen use the Koan to disrupt the minds normative way of thinking? Or perhaps why so many psychological personality disorders exist due to the formation of traumatized neural pathways during childhood? Enneagram theory accounts for much of this due to its approach. Again I ask, does this explain why we torture ourselves, being conflicted by ideas that we have only partial answers to, since much of the presumptions are buried deep within our minds? I refer you to the work of Dr. Bruce Lipton for further analyses on this matter. I highly recommend the work he has uncovered.
If the human experience is largely based on our ability to mediate its variables and problems, to arbitrate the ethical conditions that life brings us, then paying attention to what we conclude about our condition is preeminent. Indeed, misjudgement is the cause for many mistaken paths we lead ourselves. The purpose of trial and error, testing ourselves to the rigors of our decisions in everyday life is part of being human and also essential for our ability to learn through experience. Learning that we must be mindful of our prejudices, that we must pay attention and heed to new information that may not be consistent with what we think we know is crucial to expanding our views.
The earlier statements I’ve made about this paradigm of psychology are based on my studies. I draw from many sources and fields to illustrate my views.
How much does your inner persona agree with your outer persona? Are you truly living as the person you present yourself to be to the world? Whether the mirror test makes you think of your opportunities for more cohesion with your inner and outer states, or if the accounts of your public persona develop your mind for further inquiry; there remains an awareness of certain parts of oneself that would rather be kept silent from other discerning examinations. In psychology the term cognitive dissonance is the feeling of discomfort when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting cognition’s: ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions. In a state of dissonance, people may sometimes feel “disequilibrium”: frustration, hunger, dread, guilt, anger, embarrassment, anxiety, etc
The theory of cognitive dissonance in social psychology proposes that people have a motivational drive to cut dissonance by altering existing cognition’s, adding new ones to create a consistent belief system, or by reducing the importance of any one of the dissonant elements. It is the distressing mental state that people feel when they “find themselves doing things that don’t fit with what they know, or having opinions that do not fit with other opinions they hold.” A key assumption is that people want their expectations to meet reality, creating a sense of equilibrium. Likewise, another assumption is that a person will avoid situations or information sources that give rise to feelings of uneasiness, or dissonance.
Values such as Honesty, Compassion, Integrity, Forgiveness, Love, Knowledge, Discipline, Faith, and Leadership are in the foundations of many cultures around the world. These ideas are instilled within the pillars of education in many societies and have an impact on those exposed to these teachings. The beliefs we come to know are influenced by such teachings, yet we sometimes are not so good as to put them in practice. We often take these teachings for granted and the development of these social skills are not efficiently used or thought out. Thus, we fail to properly acquire the awareness that allows our behaviors to consistently follow the congruent ideals behind them.
Cohesion between the inner self and the outer persona often equivocate questions about what you know and what you don’t know about yourself. We sometimes wear many hats in our lives, but do they share the core of values we bring to the world? William Shakespeare wrote the play “As You Like It” in 1599 which included the following excerpt…
Neil Peart’s lyrics in the Canadian Rock band RUSH borrowing from this theme wrote the song Limelight…
So if we are aware of such self examinations and find some incongruities, how do we decide which particular secrets and personal episodes we would share with others? The questions just keep coming! Are there indiscretions we have never shared that one should openly talk about? Are there subjects that we should discuss with others in our social networks to truly be an authentic person, or are there some subjects we should never talk about? Who will be effected knowing the skeleton’s that are buried deep within our closets? Who will we trust to keep our personal information in perspective without being unjustly judged from past volition’s? How does not being forthright complicate our dealings with our relationships, our associations, and or families? Does subduing this information affect the way we conduct ourselves in everyday life? Are we judgmental of others, and sensitive to those who may tread closely to these concealed experiences that we deny others of fully understanding?
A central proposition of existentialism is that “existence precedes essence”, which means that the most important consideration for the person is that he or she is an individual—an independently acting and responsible conscious being (“existence”)—rather than what labels, roles, stereotypes, definitions, or other preconceived categories the individual fits (“essence”). The real life of the individual is what is what could be called his or her “true essence” instead of there being an arbitrarily attributed essence used by others to define him or her. Thus, human beings, through their own consciousness, create their own values and determine a meaning to their life. Although it was Jean-Paul Sartre who explicitly coined the phrase, similar notions can be found in the thought of existentialist philosophers such as Søren Kierkegaard and Martin Heidegger. The presupposition some make is that we have the capability to connect with our divergent selves as well as recognize that we can suppress, disregard, obfuscate, and be apathetic to the discoveries we find within our inquiries when we scrutinize ourselves.
I for one think that simplifying our lives can lead to some steps in the right direction. We can only control what we can control. The power to transform ourselves into the ideal of who want to be and who we actually are is a respectable notion depending on what that ideal is. My thought is that we as a culture overwhelmingly pay little attention to syncing our internal persona’s with our external behaviors in many instances of our lives. Maybe I am just deluded into thinking that such an idea is true for the majority of us due to the chaos we seem to invoke upon one another that exists all around the world. Whether this comes down to a “Zero-Sum Game” in the process of extending our true selves for others to see, or whether we should respectfully omit certain truths about ourselves from the others around us and not completely “come clean” with our dirty laundry is ultimately up that person. I respectfully submit to the reader that in many of these cases, honesty is the best policy, but the collateral damage that can be incurred is something to consider before the decision to align one’s selves (inner and outer) is effectuated. There are many tangents not covered in this post such as confabulations, attributes of the sub-conscious, issues of self-awareness, and mental disabilities, that will obviously augment the analysis and depth one can take this topic.
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
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