The Man Adrift



I want to be heard

This boy thought “how absurd”

The younger of two

Was left alone and blue

A child without a choice

A child without a voice

Strangled by fear, not allowed to emote

The tears that are cried

Are left only on the inside

But perhaps one day

The boy in the man can say

I’ve been lost in shame

And work hard to reclaim

A person-hood misplaced

And all value replaced

The struggle I maintain

Must peal years away to sustain

The childhood amiss

May rise again in the man adrift

Churning messages around in the head

Making us wish we were dead



When children are raised with chronic loss, without the psychological or physical protection they need and certainly deserve, it is most natural for them to internalize incredible fear.  Not receiving the necessary psychological or physical protection equals abandonment.  And, living with repeated abandonment experiences creates toxic shame.  Shame arises from the painful message implied in abandonment: “You are not important.  You are not of value.”  This is the pain from which people need to heal.[3]

The topic is dark, but should never be dismissed in our culture as taboo.  The task before us is to identify, recognize, and assist in some kind of treatment program.


FAQ’s for Abandonment

The Refuge treatment info


The Heart of the Matter

A dryad is a tree nymph, that is a female spirit of a tree, in Greek mythology. In Greek drys signifies "oak". Thus dryads are specifically ...:


We may often find that if we think back, our lives are shaped by events that still have a hold over us today.  I’ve thought why do we make such passionate commitments to hobbies, work, ideas, or some other personal endeavor we display and cling to showing others in our public display.  Are we showing them for ulterior reasons or are we really expressing our authentic identity?  Is it that these activities we express will strengthen our self-perceived public personas when we show these manifestations to others around us in our interests?  Is the effort placed mainly because this is how we want to be perceived by others?  Is this a conscious or an unconscious act, or is it a little of both?  What happened to us when we were younger to impel us to pursue these activities in our self perception and show the world that this is how we want to be identified?  Guilt, Shame, or some other developmental dysfunction?

Some reasons attributed to such actions are either for pure enjoyment of the activities we pursue, or maybe we do them as an avoidance or distraction from something else.  There are some activities that have a deeper connection to us than just the simple satisfaction of our doing them!  One could suggest that people who like fashion and fitness, often purchase new outfits.  Reinforcing this perception they post selfie images on social media for all of their friends to see.  The same is true for physical appearance.  Lets say they have worked hard to show off their gym body, and are frequently posting pictures of themselves.  Is this an act of pride or accomplishment, an act of narcissism, or the act of some hidden psychological scar from the past that will perpetually aggrandize their self-worth manifesting in the form of countless selfies on social media?  What are the implications to this line of thought?  Perhaps an amalgam of reasons are responsible for these deeds.  The private manifestations of our humanity oozes our contempt of our flaws in our behaviors.

The question remains for many behaviors: what was the original motivation?  Is there some underlying guilt or shame that we have not completely worked out at the time when an emotional confrontation was first introduced to us, and we have since tried to convince ourselves and others that we have overcome this mishap or bestowal?  Yes, a positive influence is of course possible but this post is not emphasizing that element.  Aside from how some event in our lives may have dramatically affected us, there are many sources of persistent advertisements in our surroundings that perpetuate ideals many of us do not necessarily mirror.  Hence we have a relentless culture that fabricates much of what we should look like, what vehicles have prestige, how much money we should earn, and where we should attend school, what evils lurk outside our own nation, ad infinitum.


The power of a marketing advertising media campaign on our lives can also mimic the influence that our peers have over us when voicing their beliefs in our presence.  The impressionable ages of our youth have determined many paths for us to take.  Whether we know it, many of our self concepts are founded on our early school years, and has set us on a course of action that we have not yet deviated from!

The guile in our representation of ourselves to the world may be overlooked and we may just be “acting for others” more than we would care to admit.  It is my contention that most people tend to live with a convoluted sense of self.  Whereas many have an authentic persona, many still intend to act on earlier strategies to convince them they are who they say they are.  The classic example is the attempt to prove to a group of peers one is worthy by demonstrating a skill based behavior that is performed only for the impression, and not done for the intrinsic altruistic value alone.  We can see this in others, but do we look deep within ourselves and see the manifestations that we bring to the table?







I have noticed within my family whose actions generally amplify more loudly than the spoken word.  If we coordinate action with words over time, one can composite a given profile in our understanding of them that may be a truer account than they may want to admit.  The Johari window was created by two American psychologists, Joseph Luft (1916–2014) and Harrington Ingham (1914–1995) in 1955 and is a technique used to help people better understand their relationship with themselves as well as others.  Used primarily in self-help groups and corporate settings as a heuristic exercise the Johari diagram can be a helpful tool.



The tool was designed to elucidate the known self and the unknown self.  Sometimes others see us as who we are, and see us as who we would like to be!  Some see us through the charade, and some do not.  Parts of our persona may never come to the light of day in our awareness and that of others.

On a physiological psychological viewpoint, we as humans have extremely complex neural nets.  Each individual neuron can form thousands of links with other neurons in this way, giving a typical brain well over 100 trillion synapses (up to 1,000 trillion, by some estimates).  Functionally related neurons connect to each other to form neural networks.  My point being that even after synaptic pruning we are not very self-aware of our behavior.  Despite the fact we do not completely use the full potential of our brain power, and we do not have much of an understanding of why we do what we do in general, it does not reduce my hypothesis that we are beholden to age-old grudges that shape our behavior today.

Not unlike other psychological factors that mechanize our defensive behaviors into attempts to disentangle past events, does this imposing line of reasoning tie us to some behavioral repentance?  There are those who predicate a turning away from a past transgression in order for us to become accepted within the framework we are working with.  We make amends, acknowledge certain behaviors as ethical, and move on.  The grace and mercy from others are usually bound to the redemptive value of our honesty.  I think that we also must turn the discerning eye upon ourselves and find a benevolence in our condition that only we can forgive our perceived flaws.



“Digging In The Dirt”

Something in me, dark and sticky

All the time it’s getting strong
No way of dealing with this feeling
Can’t go on like this too long
This time you’ve gone too far
I told you
This time you’ve gone too far
I told you
Don’t talk back
Just drive the car
Shut your mouth
I know what you are
Don’t say nothing
Keep your hands on the wheel
Don’t turn around
This is for real
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me, I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
The more I look, the more I find
As I close on in, I get so blind
I feel it in my head, I feel it in my toes
I feel it in my sex, that’s the place it goes
I’m digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I’m digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
To open up the places I got hurt
Digging in the dirt
To find the places we got hurt
Peter Gabriel

Let Reason Depose Judgements of Moral Turpitude



How do you convey a passion to other people about critical information that you have discovered or uncovered to be more precise?  For conversations sake, lets say you spent years researching a topic and found volumes of clear evidence to link hidden truths and ideas that would profoundly change the world if truth is disseminated and accepted.  You risk being judged of saying something controversial, yet you feel it is so compelling that you should share this information despite the hesitation.

The web of deceit has infiltrated our media systems that transmit much of what we become aware of in the current information zeitgeist a.k.a. news.   Snippets of our current information ignite censorship and filter down in doses that are approved from some editors desk.  As others may not be very interested in your findings and you want to share them, you become disenchanted with how others may receive these personal thought gems let alone agree with them.

With all the disinformation, propaganda, and demagogues for our media sources which are acting pundits for the oligarchy, there is so much created information that must be very critically and logically deciphered to get some sort of semblance of truth that others can confirm, such as a litmus test of reason.  The trick is to use logic on those who create much of the babble that dissuade their audiences not yet awakened to this manipulation.  Most of these snake-oil sales-persons are under a bureaucratic control of some governing body that do not adhere to the fundamental journalistic philosophy this nation was forged on:  an independent and unsolicited purveyor in factual origins that transcend the boundaries of moral turpitude.

oligarchy – the

We must let reason depose judgements of moral turpitude, as it is the only defense we have from the despotic control over our liberties.  The rational person can be a juggernaut of resistance to the immoral behavior and malicious intent of the autocratic mind.  They are approaching the world with a selfish agenda that can easily be dismantled if we pay attention and diffuse their jargon of lies with reason.  The single most important element in any body politic is the education of the human being.  An education that supports free thinking, and critical thinking in these times of another very dark age in humanity.


The only salvation we must bolster is a direct result of our ability to intelligently analyze the affairs of our communities, let alone our own personal psyche’s.  Whatever paradigm shift happens to befall us, we are directly responsible for its vindication or its indictment.  As a people we must work together to fight tyranny because it will take more than just one of us to keep down the unreasonable and chaotic oppression of the few.

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”
Samuel Adams


Ayn Rand

“Power-lust is a weed that grows only in the vacant lots of an abandoned mind. ”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Adolf Hitler

“To conquer a nation, first disarm its citizens.”
Adolf Hitler


Aldous Huxley

“A democracy which makes or even effectively prepares for modern, scientific war must necessarily cease to be democratic. No country can be really well prepared for modern war unless it is governed by a tyrant, at the head of a highly trained and perfectly obedient bureaucracy.”
Aldous Huxley, Ends and Means

John Stuart Mill

“Even despotism does not produce its worst effects, so long as individuality exists under it; and whatever crushes individuality is despotism, by whatever name it may be called, and whether it professes to be enforcing the will of God or the injunctions of men.”
John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

James Madison

“The means of defence against foreign danger have been always the instruments of tyranny at home. Among the Romans it was a standing maxim to excite a war, whenever a revolt was apprehended. Throughout all Europe, the armies kept up under the pretext of defending, have enslaved the people.”
James Madison, Notes of Debates in the Federal Convention of 1787 Reported by James Madison

Thomas Jefferson

“Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and opressions of the body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.”
Thomas Jefferson

Robert A. Heinlein

“There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.”
Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Noah Webster

“Tyranny is the exercise of some power over a man, which is not warranted by law, or necessary for the public safety. A people can never be deprived of their liberties, while they retain in their own hands, a power sufficient to any other power in the state.”
Noah Webster

Alexis de Tocqueville

“Our contemporaries are constantly excited by two conflicting passions; they want to be led, and they wish to remain free: as they cannot destroy either one or the other of these contrary propensities, they strive to satisfy them both at once. They devise a sole, tutelary, and all-powerful form of government, but elected by the people. They combine the principle of centralization and that of popular sovereignty; this gives them a respite: they console themselves for being in tutelage by the reflection that they have chosen their own guardians. Every man allows himself to be put in leading-strings, because he sees that it is not a person or a class of persons, but the people at large that holds the end of his chain.

By this system the people shake off their state of dependence just long enough to select their master, and then relapse into it again. A great many persons at the present day are quite contented with this sort of compromise between administrative despotism and the sovereignty of the people; and they think they have done enough for the protection of individual freedom when they have surrendered it to the power of the nation at large. This does not satisfy me: the nature of him I am to obey signifies less to me than the fact of extorted obedience.”
Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America


“The beasts of the field and forest had a Lion as their king. He was neither wrathful, cruel, nor tyrannical, but just and gentle as a king could be. During his reign he made a royal proclamation for a general assembly of all the birds and beasts, and drew up conditions for a universal league, in which the Wolf and the Lamb, the Panther and the Kid, the Tiger and the Stag, the Dog and the Hare, should live together in perfect peace and amity. The Hare said, “Oh, how I have longed to see this day, in which the weak shall take their place with impunity by the side of the strong.” And after the Hare said this, he ran for his life.”
Aesop, Aesop’s Fables

The Intention of Behavior

Liberty Sighs

How can we avoid becoming tainted when the world seemingly goes mad?  Most of the issues are not really with the everyday average person.  The leaders who are in power and legislate policy allow the manifestations we feel as part of their archaic practices.  Curiously this is where much of the happenstance of our predicament is born.  The division of opportunity because of protected classes, the division of people in class warfare, ad infinitum can be traced to misplaced allegiance.  The ultimate illusion of these divisions can be played against us for political gain.  The attack on our foundations also target the primary introduction of etiquette that emerges and originates from the family.

Manners and social conduct come from this inception from the family!  We are often like rats in a maze, that feed off of the resulting stimuli we are given as a reward; or more precisely like hamsters on a wheel!  The Operant conditioning model does have some Merit.   We have become more conditioned to a certain way of life that perpetuates the feelings we experience in our everyday activities.  Sadly much of the resulting discord is also done intentionally, and not by chance under the control of our politicians, community organizations and other civil servants.  On the globalist scale think about the travesty of Trans-Pacific-Partnership.  On the smaller scale think of how we treat each other on the street which is just as devastating in these micro-social constructs.  This too is felt all over the globe but on a much more personal individual level.

We are sharing the world with many who cannot but help inflict their chaos upon those around them.  Why must we endure such behavior?  Establishing some code of conduct essentially comes from the family.  With the breakdown of the single family in western cultures, we see trends that have disturbing consequences.  Forging our personalities also includes having some kind of friction from others around us showing alternative points of view, having conflict, and resolving conflict that are important aspects of the social beings we become.

We do not have the proper teachings or manner’s such as was taught in China around the time that Confucius flourished.  His teachings were specifically used during that dynasty to train the general populations as commandeered by the ruling dynastic emperor of the time.  This resulted in much improvement over the conduct of the people, as they adopted much of the teachings espoused by Confucius.  But we are not in China during the time of Confucius, so how do we deal with the public that has lost their way.  For me the question is often how do we keep ourselves free from the worry and unnecessary derisive narratives in our lives?  We can often plunder into the negative void from others creating content that will subject us to unhealthy vibes and we indirectly find ourselves feeding off of it.  This is what we must be careful of, not allowing such content to enter our consciousness.  It is the wrong kind of energy that has damaging effects on us.  Think about reasons why the viewers of reality television continue to watch.

Not unlike the child who demands that we play by their wishes.  We first must not allow it to negatively affect us, then deal with the “childish behavior”, or circumstances appropriately channel that behavior towards a healthier conduit and extinguish those behaviors that are offensive for the rest of the group.  One can easily find many examples of abrasive behavior in public at almost any place where people congregate; especially with people from different backgrounds.

I was in the 1980’s when the catch word “chill” was first introduced into popular culture.  This became a contagious phrase that exploded across all ethnic, and age groups during my adolescence.  Furthermore it has transcended many decades and has become part of our lexicon.  The idea for which it stands I think has profound effects among us.  Not only does it suggest a positive vibe, but it’s introduction and memorable resolution is brilliant on many levels that everyone can understand!  Unlike many previous trendy and whimsical phrases from the “youth culture” in the 1960’s such as “groovy”, “out of sight” or “right on” which seldom make any mention in our pop culture come-back phrases; it is unlikely that the word “chill” will leave our vocabulary any time soon.



What I find interesting is that there are many examples of when we as a people despite the circumstances, some people never fail to surprise me in the good deeds that they do.  People like Chris Ulmer make a huge difference in the world.

A fully formed person can dramatically help heal us when we pay attention to those around us.  By the courageous efforts of our deeds at times when we could otherwise act differently; we can genuinely affect others.  The intention of our behavior can change the lives of many around us.  Not only by the “pay it forward” aspects, or by “random acts of kindness” we express to others as we meet the world; but the inspiration of our actions are the genesis of our ability to harmonize an already dysfunction in the world and can be pivotal in moments for us individually.



The whole Santa Claus mythology has some flawed views.  When the question of naughty and nice children comes up at this time of year, I think that every child should receive love and some kind of gift.  It is when we do not see the children as confused and troubled that the bigger mistake is made.  There are no bad children, just children that are hurt, and confused.  If we treat the cause of the ailment, then we can make huge strides in our humanity.


Oh, I’m bein’ followed by a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow
Leapin’ and hoppin’ on a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow
And if I ever lose my hands, lose my plough, lose my land,
Oh if I ever lose my hands, Oh if… I won’t have to work no more.
And if I ever lose my eyes, if my colours all run dry,
Yes if I ever lose my eyes, Oh if… I won’t have to cry no more.
Yes I’m bein’ followed by a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow
Leapin’ and hoppin’ on a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow
And if I ever lose my legs, I won’t moan, and I won’t beg,
Yes if I ever lose my legs, Oh if… I won’t have to walk no more.
And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south,
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, Oh if… I won’t have to talk…
Did it take long to find me? I asked the faithful light.
Did it take long to find me? And are you gonna stay the night?
I’m bein’ followed by a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow
Leapin’ and hoppin’ on a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow
Moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow

Cat Stevens

see TPB

Theory of Planned Behavior


What is Etiquette?