Bonding

Who will bring the receipt?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Thank you for showing me kindness

Way too many emotional vampires out there

They will take everything you have to give

And leave nothing to spare

Thank you for thinking of me

The narcissists I know

Only acknowledge their own needs

They have little else to show

I am very grateful to the people who share

There is purpose in their smile

They show me meaningful lessons

They teach me the reason for living this lifestyle

I can become a better person

I watch, listen and learn

And if you really study the landscape

You’re better off treating people with concern

No one better knows gratitude

Than those who express humility

When we recognize our kinship

We recognize a shared humanity

If you understand, our differences

You must surely understand our similarity

To know, we are not the center of the universe

Enter Sir Isaac Newton and his theory of gravity

there is wisdom and honesty

There is corruption and deceit

Distinguishing between them

Who will bring the receipt?

…

DCG

Our presence can be felt more deeply 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

There are many that feel comfort

With a hug and a touch of the hand

Whether it’s our family

Most tactile people will understand

A cat nestled on your lap

As we stroke the fur

Without words we communicate

As we listen to them purr

When words do not suffice

Our presence can be felt more deeply

If we convey our feelings

Our touch is felt more sweetly

The book touching by Ashley Montagu

The human significance of skin

I would highly recommend to anyone

As this book is a sure win

Our language is often overlooked

When we communicate with others, we love

Our touch is greatly appreciated

Especially from those who are deprived of

…

DCG



Am I allowed to express what I feel?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I wear an emotional straight jacket

I created on my own

Formed in my childhood

That I learned in my home

My parents were emotionally impoverished

Not really knowing how to emotionally provide

Not knowing how to love

They both suffered inside

Trauma based genealogies

Go back generations in time

However, we break this cycle

We must be patient

We must be kind

When the human spirit is weak

We may be blind

When the human spirit is strong

A path to discovery, we may find

The human bonding hormone is  oxytocin

If we experience trauma, and there is disruption

We must self regulate

if and when you learn your attachment style

Then maybe you will be able to vindicate

If you try to fill an emotional void

That your own mind will create

You may find an endless loop

That will continue to frustrate

Why is it we always seek connection

To undo a never ending hurt?

If aware, we know this won’t work

But we still continue to flirt

So the question now becomes

Just how do I heal?

How do I make things right?

Am I allowed to express what I feel?

RSP

…

DCG

Just what in life will you bring? 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I have a better understanding of where I am going

After what I have been through

Experience teaches us you don’t love a woman because she’s beautiful

She’s beautiful because you love her – true

I trust in Lao Tzu

On Ways to flourish

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength

While loving someone deeply gives you courage”

Having a good heart

And knowing how to use

If love is the beauty of the soul

Then the only question is how and when do we choose?

Time and effort are needed

To cultivate the art of the soul

How do you measure your success?

How do you pay the toll?

Make a decision

Live by the will

If you pass the Rubicon

Only your doubt will stand still

Life is a mystery

But if I am certain of anything

It is better to give than it is to receive

Just what in life will you bring? 

…

DCG

The journey of the forsaken 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

The journey of the forsaken

As children, they learn to self soothe

After years of neglect

Predisposed to seek validation, forever having to prove

A forsaken child

A silent crime

The pain and suffering

They withhold the signs

Someone will break the cycle

Someone will break the chain

Some will hide away

Always having to endure the pain

When the most powerful human emotion

Is suppressed and shoved into a closed box

When you can’t express love

And treat your children like they have smallpox

Given the severity

You may have to self regulate

Trick your nervous system

In order to satiate

In the self-imposed prison we call trauma

We are the inmate and simultaneously the guard

Never knowing we hold the keys to the cell

And the keys to the yard

It might take decades

Or maybe some therapy

Before we unleash the Kraken

Into the social emotional sea

You may fear rejection

You may fear intimacy

You may shut out the world around you

You may avoid any reciprocity

Do you feel unworthy?

Do you feel shame?

Do you push away emotionally available people?

And then tell them that you are to blame?

Many never see their attachment style

Dismissive-avoidant, anxious- attachment, fearful-avoidant and the like

Many won’t climb the mountain of self reflection

Many won’t take this hike

Change is possible

We can recalibrate a deep trauma of emotional recovery

From pain to loneliness to forgiveness to courage 

Now it is only me that has to open up and see

…

DCG

Why are we so confused?

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I know I have

Some deep childhood wounds

I’ve matured and overcome

But still hide some in an emotional cocoon

It was never so clear

Until I met a kindred spirit

A trauma bond attachment

Anxious versus avoidant is common, painful, powerful, that would mirror it

First I majored in psychology

Studied Leo Buscaglia and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then I double majored in philosophy

Eventually, I discarded all the rubbish on the pyre

What I’ve learned was not from therapy or counseling 

I’ve learned from my relationships on my own

Thanks to careful observations

For which I am prone

I’m reminded by two individuals

One from philosophy, and one from psychology

The Buddha equates attachment to suffering

BF Skinner’s operant conditioning demonstrates an emotional neurology

A rat in a cage pushes a lever to get the reward of food

What emotional lever do we push for love and affection?

Why are we so confused?

When we cannot understand, what is love or what is rejection?

RSP

…

DCG

It warms my heart 

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

It warms my heart

When you express yourself to me

The excitement of a new job

A new opportunity

Not sure why I seek this connection

I seem to be drawn to you

I yearn to be close

Another déjà vu

Been three months since New Year’s days eve

It was such a great night

But I’m not sure what to believe

From the day I took notice

You have been in my heart and on my mind

Only wanting to know you better

But I think there were things about yourself you didn’t want me to find.

Did I form a trauma bond?

Or was it more than hypnotic empathy?

The connection for me was real

If I misunderstood, then please forgive me 

I do find joy in the feelings that you share

Your well-being means something to me

What is hard is that I see the internal conflict

And then I also see you respond positively

I know if you wanted something more

You would let me know

Whether you consider me a friend

Or whether you consider me a beau

RSP

…

DCG



And so goes our training

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we have feelings

That we don’t know how to share

But if you put them under lock and key

You’ll never know if they will care

Use it as motivation

Perspective can balance the soul

Move forward

Let this be a goal

Sometimes we have a flood of emotion

Too strong or too soon to bare

This may guarantee rejection

I think we’ve all been there

Some give up

Some never stop

Repeat the same mistakes

Continue to flop

We are the curator of our own exhibitions

Malaise to malcontent, malady to mischief

That at some point

We must employ the handkerchief

And so goes our training

In the social bonds that we make

 Using our pleasantries, physical attributes and our charms

That we bake into the cake

These recipes will surely vary

It will be tested, and you must sample 

Now you have to find a good customer

One that is compatible as an example

RSP

…

DCG



A one-sided love affair

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

What have you learned?

What have you lost?

What have you earned?

What was the cost? 

Even the saint

Will feel the burn

When raw emotion erupts

And there is nowhere to turn

Unrequited love

Never reaches an end

No resolution

Of anything you send

You cannot keep

What cannot be kept

Despite all the tears

After you’ve wept

Is there a lesson?

Nothing gained or nothing lost

Was it destiny?

Or was it a coin toss?

Have you ever had?

A one-sided love affair?

Not enough to love you back?

Not enough to care?

Did you open up too much?

What vulnerabilities did you bare?

Did they freeze up and stare?

Please tell me, I dare!

Even through the heartache

Even after the pain

Do you still forgive them?

After the feelings wane?

When timing is everything

And the stars align

You and I collide

Our hearts just may resign

There is no certainty

No formula, no magic potion

For finding love

Or mutual devotion

RSP

…

DCG



I’ll prove every day that you can trust me

~ DC ~ Leave a comment

I once told you

That I didn’t know if I could complete you

But what I didn’t say

Was even more true

I would never stop trying

That is if we agree

To make something out of it

I’ll prove every day you can trust me

I know these thoughts seem impulsive

But these words, I must speak

I feel a strong connection

As this is what I seek

I luv the way you express yourself

When discouraged you say you were mortified

When happy you light up like you have been electrified

Just a few of the reasons for my attraction

You’ve read my poems so you must be aware

I’m sending you these messages

Because I truly do care

RSP

…

DCG