Scar tissue 

Scar Tissue


I wait beneath the weight of hollow years,


the silence burns a prayer into my chest.


Your shadow quivers where the light appears,


I ache in faith, though faith is put to test.


I trace the echo of your turning face,


each time you flee, I find no ground to stand.


The past still hums—a ghost I can’t erase,


a trembling heart still reaching out a hand.


You hide behind your walls of hardened glass,


pretending you were never made to need.


While I am caught in memories that pass,


their thorns still teaching me how hearts can bleed.


The nights collapse with whispers of your name,


and hope becomes both comfort and disease.


I’ve learned that healing doesn’t mean the same


as finding peace—it asks a harder peace.


I see the child in you that never spoke,


the small defense that shields you from my care.


The boy in me still breathes beneath the smoke,


unlearning how to vanish into air.


If grace is measured by the ones who stay,


then mine was forged in storms I could not leave.


I pray the wind will bend your ribs someday,


and teach you how the broken still believe.


Because this bond was never born of choice,


but tethered in the hunger of the scar.


I hear redemption trembling in your voice,


but silence always tells me where we are.


You fear that love will drown you where you stand,


while I fear losing what was never mine.


Each moment drips like blood between my hands,


as faith and grief braid tight around the spine.


I’ve watched your eyes turn distant, cold with doubt,


but underneath I feel the buried prayer.


There is no healing if we cast it out,


so I remain, though absence fills the air.


I can’t repair the child who hides in you,


but I can hold the ache without demand.


If miracles are what the broken do,


I’ll wait for God to place them in your hand.


This scar—our mirror—shines where pain had fed,


reminding me that loss can still renew.


And even if the path is lined with dread,


I’ll walk it still, until it leads to you.

RSP

DCG

However, it may lead I will always find my faith

I know you’re feeling angry

I know your feeling resigned

The coping strategy you use

A pain free solution you will never find

My heart breaks every time I see

The struggle you will not address

It’s from a trauma in childhood

Not any evil demon that you possess

You are held captive

In a prison of your own mind

You are both the prisoner and the jailer

That will punish you every single time

I’ve done the research, I’ve learned my boundaries

But for you, I will not give up, I will not fail

With knowledge there is responsibility

This commitment to heal will not stale

When others have given up

When you found yourself betrayed

Your family members were scattered

And now you drift alone afraid

I understand your shame and fear

A secure attachment of somebody like me

I understand you’re avoidant tendencies

This is something I can clearly see 

In my initial anxious attachment

I have grown into one that is secure

This trauma bond, I now understand

With self reflection and counseling, there is a cure

I walk a precarious edge of a razor

Knowing my empathy couples with self sacrifice

I tread upon this boundary

Knowing full well, what is the emotional cost and price

You may ask me why the emotional fortitude

In my experience of abandonment and shame, I find the grace

However, it may lead

I will always find my faith

RSP

DCG

https://youtube.com/shorts/LRI2CpeR8w4?si=yckUu-wFOGqzgPtV

I’m trying to seek approval

I am trying to seek approval

Because of my father‘s love I never had

He neglected my feelings

I grew up, emotionally fractured, broken, and sad

This is very common

People form a trauma bond

The underlying attraction they feel

Is a masquerade and is still wrong

The familiarity in attachment theory

Has profound implications

Deeply embedded into our  intimacy responses 

Within our primary relations

the more I have studied this behavior

The deepest silent anguish of misery

From those who do not even recognize their condition

will continue to commiserate on their injury

The abhorrent parenting practices

Leave their forsaken children in emotional chains

The atrocious mothers and fathers

Will never see their own children’s pain

https://fb.watch/Dc_OLWTbVg/?mibextid=wwXIfr&fs=e

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https://www.facebook.com/reel/24540551328971729?fs=e&mibextid=wwXIfr&fs=e

https://youtube.com/shorts/krrUECw1Vkw?si=7R_0Wiz8jvGgcJHa

RSP

DCG

See John Bowlby‘s work on attachment theory

See spark growth on YouTube 

@sparkgrowthofficial 

Breathe deeply

Release of anxiety

Release of any trauma

Forgiveness must be made

To let go of any drama

Breathe deeply

Pain has an unrelenting hold

Have faith to let go

Face the truth or so I am told 

Maybe it’s denial

Not facing up to your pain

Using a bad coping strategy

Going around and around again

For the avoidant

They will rarely ever learn

If you keep yourself busy enough to make a turn

You will always yearn

Sometimes the child within us

Has never learned to grow

Be very cautious

To those who are unwilling or afraid to show

RSP

DCG

https://youtube.com/shorts/Tr8n-qTfdgI?si=-l216YrIr7N8Kdsd

https://youtube.com/shorts/jOKZc3pu4Tw?si=wn8FzNP_kvjZtfL2

Life hack number three

To heal a heart and soul

You must reveal the heart and soul

Always consider forgiveness

Only we control what we console

DCG

You won’t know until the silence hit you

The quickest path of victimhood

Is through the expression of passive-aggressive, dismissive-avoidant denial

The gauntlet is thrown in defeat

The indignation and sentence are exposed pre-trial

At attachment theory, dismissive-avoidant and anxiously attached

Both have triggers

Both have a 22 catch

You won’t know until the silence hits you

You have to experience it before you can see

 we have to prevent what triggers us

To face what is truly reality 

If you pull back far enough, the problem within you is evident but you are afraid to see

Your emotional paralysis is not mature

Your perpetual stagnation

Is all you endure

A self fulfilling prophecy

Meets a self sabotaging force

You’re not able to navigate

If you can’t chart a course

Take a snapshot

What do we know?

Severe emotional neglect

Stunted feelings, you never allow to grow

How do you deal if you don’t know how to heal?

What is wild?

You are part woman

No, you are part child

Survivors of emotional trauma

And childhood neglect

May Bond together

Attached to the trauma they connect

The perks of being a wallflower

When you see it, it hits a nerve

“Sometimes we accept the love

We think we deserve”

RSP

DCG

How can I be a part of the solution?

The wisdom of forgiveness

So too requires the wisdom of walking the razors edge

Knowing when and when not

To use a hedge

The entanglements that befalls us

May take us by surprise

If ruled by the heart and not the mind

What then will our passions devise?

Soren Kierkegaard said “life can be understood looking backwards, but it must be lived forwards“

In other words to live one must take risk

Learn by mistake

Beware the idolater who prays to the golden obelisk

When we own our Folly

It helps us see in our relationships

With misunderstanding

And solve our difficulty

How can I be a part of the solution?

A question a couple must always ask

To build upon a foundation

Given what both lives may cast

There is no certainty

With vows of good intent

The practicality to work through shared issues

A reason why we become penitent

Make no mistake I believe in commitment

A covenant and social contract is necessary

The responsibility is mutual

both parties must work hard to achieve and agree

RSP

DCG

A prism of reflection 

Oh Lord, please forgive me

Please allow for me to better see

Come into my heart and work through me

This is how I pray to be

I could be the hedge

I could be a testimony

Allow me to demonstrate a psalm

Celebrate a ceremony

Let me be the mirror

A prism of reflection

The spectrum that shines

Radiating detection

What is the difference?

From the stories, we tell to children and the stories we tell to adults?

Which ones are fables?

Which ones get results?

The ability to communicate

To touch the Elan vital

That which is often pondered

By the monks on the mountains of Nepal

Create a memory

tell a story about what you care

Some ears will listen

On what you share

Ever experience something that is transformational?

An idea, a connection?

Something spiritual?

Viewed upon reflection?

I strive to see the catalyst

Recognize an opportunity

To grow and change

There is a design to my spontaneity

DCG

Only one solution exists 

I grew up with a father who was a narcissist

He also had an inferiority complex and was insecure

My sensitivity to these behaviors have echoed throughout my life

Even to this day, I am still sure

With poetic self reflection

I unravel this entangled ball 

I reveal more connections

All before and after the fall

If you suffered from severe emotional neglect in childhood

You will never forget if untreated

You will become anxiously attached with a trauma bond 

And voraciously seek approval until your soul is depleted

Trauma is generational

It can be a past on maladaptive disease

Disruptively impacting the lives of the forsaken

It will do with you what it will please

Ironically, loving the unlovable

Only one solution exists

That is forgiveness

That you cannot deny or resist

DCG

I filled in all the missing parts 

If women fall in love with men from what they hear

And men fall in love with women on what they see

Does this explain why women wear make up and men lie?

A paradox of human behavior and controversy

You’ve never really opened up to me

I think now I know the reasons why

I filled in all of the missing parts

My mind created a world for you, but I filtered out the noise in the sky

When given Little information

Confirmation bias just may take hold

But at the end of the day

Truth comes out and will be told

I try not to attach to the flaws of other people

I have my struggle I must own

I forgive and move forward

I hope this is shown

When you see behind the mask

Make sense of the struggle and the ordeal

We have an opportunity and a choice

On what to do and how we should feel

Understanding is important

But it is not the end all cure

The hard part is finding a resolution 

Your intentions must be pure

Many people won’t accept these terms

Many people will get stuck in their head

They will not self reflect

They will justify and turn around instead

I’m sure you think

I won’t accept you if I truly knew who you are

and so the masquerade

You shield your ego from afar

If I was wrong

You didn’t have to play along

But I know what you did

Who you gonna kid

Just how do you get?

701

Active again

After all has been said and done

RSP

DCG