For the answers you must demand

Self discovery is often impeded

On how we self reflect

Where do we place our attention?

Just exactly what do we inspect?

You might observe what happens around you

You might only think about how it makes you feel

But if you don’t take ownership

You won’t move forward and heal

We will often hide from ourselves

Our ego and self-esteem we try to protect

What we don’t pay attention to

We will often neglect

To be honest is hard

To be honest to ourselves is even harder

Easier to fool yourself

And become a character martyr

Critical self appraisement

Is not necessarily bad

If the goal is to self improvement

Than this is a conversation that must be had

If you have internal conflict

With something you don’t understand

Look inward and start asking questions

For the answers you must demand

DCG

Just what in life will you bring? 

I have a better understanding of where I am going

After what I have been through

Experience teaches us you don’t love a woman because she’s beautiful

She’s beautiful because you love her – true

I trust in Lao Tzu

On Ways to flourish

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength

While loving someone deeply gives you courage”

Having a good heart

And knowing how to use

If love is the beauty of the soul

Then the only question is how and when do we choose?

Time and effort are needed

To cultivate the art of the soul

How do you measure your success?

How do you pay the toll?

Make a decision

Live by the will

If you pass the Rubicon

Only your doubt will stand still

Life is a mystery

But if I am certain of anything

It is better to give than it is to receive

Just what in life will you bring? 

DCG

The journey of the forsaken 

The journey of the forsaken

As children, they learn to self soothe

After years of neglect

Predisposed to seek validation, forever having to prove

A forsaken child

A silent crime

The pain and suffering

They withhold the signs

Someone will break the cycle

Someone will break the chain

Some will hide away

Always having to endure the pain

When the most powerful human emotion

Is suppressed and shoved into a closed box

When you can’t express love

And treat your children like they have smallpox

Given the severity

You may have to self regulate

Trick your nervous system

In order to satiate

In the self-imposed prison we call trauma

We are the inmate and simultaneously the guard

Never knowing we hold the keys to the cell

And the keys to the yard

It might take decades

Or maybe some therapy

Before we unleash the Kraken

Into the social emotional sea

You may fear rejection

You may fear intimacy

You may shut out the world around you

You may avoid any reciprocity

Do you feel unworthy?

Do you feel shame?

Do you push away emotionally available people?

And then tell them that you are to blame?

Many never see their attachment style

Dismissive-avoidant, anxious- attachment, fearful-avoidant and the like

Many won’t climb the mountain of self reflection

Many won’t take this hike

Change is possible

We can recalibrate a deep trauma of emotional recovery

From pain to loneliness to forgiveness to courage 

Now it is only me that has to open up and see

DCG

Why are we so confused?

I know I have

Some deep childhood wounds

I’ve matured and overcome

But still hide some in an emotional cocoon

It was never so clear

Until I met a kindred spirit

A trauma bond attachment

Anxious versus avoidant is common, painful, powerful, that would mirror it

First I majored in psychology

Studied Leo Buscaglia and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then I double majored in philosophy

Eventually, I discarded all the rubbish on the pyre

What I’ve learned was not from therapy or counseling 

I’ve learned from my relationships on my own

Thanks to careful observations

For which I am prone

I’m reminded by two individuals

One from philosophy, and one from psychology

The Buddha equates attachment to suffering

BF Skinner’s operant conditioning demonstrates an emotional neurology

A rat in a cage pushes a lever to get the reward of food

What emotional lever do we push for love and affection?

Why are we so confused?

When we cannot understand, what is love or what is rejection?

RSP

DCG

Deposition of a disappearing man

It is much harder

To find a date

When physical limitations

Will challenge your fate

With diabetes and neuropathy

It is sometimes difficult to manage

Now imagine having glaucoma

And you have become visually damaged

Despite these limitations

I work out and try to keep my mind right

We all have adversity

I use humor to keep things light

I don’t give up easily

And on that you can rely

Even through the hardships

That would make me want to cry

I am not here to voice my grievances

There is no bitterness I wish to share

It has made me who I am

Despite all of the ware

The human spirit is very powerful

And with grace from above, I have much to give

Strength, courage, wisdom, love

A motto by which I live

DCG

It warms my heart 

It warms my heart

When you express yourself to me

The excitement of a new job

A new opportunity

Not sure why I seek this connection

I seem to be drawn to you

I yearn to be close

Another déjà vu

Been three months since New Year’s days eve

It was such a great night

But I’m not sure what to believe

From the day I took notice

You have been in my heart and on my mind

Only wanting to know you better

But I think there were things about yourself you didn’t want me to find.

Did I form a trauma bond?

Or was it more than hypnotic empathy?

The connection for me was real

If I misunderstood, then please forgive me 

I do find joy in the feelings that you share

Your well-being means something to me

What is hard is that I see the internal conflict

And then I also see you respond positively

I know if you wanted something more

You would let me know

Whether you consider me a friend

Or whether you consider me a beau

RSP

DCG

And so goes our training

Sometimes we have feelings

That we don’t know how to share

But if you put them under lock and key

You’ll never know if they will care

Use it as motivation

Perspective can balance the soul

Move forward

Let this be a goal

Sometimes we have a flood of emotion

Too strong or too soon to bare

This may guarantee rejection

I think we’ve all been there

Some give up

Some never stop

Repeat the same mistakes

Continue to flop

We are the curator of our own exhibitions

Malaise to malcontent, malady to mischief

That at some point

We must employ the handkerchief

And so goes our training

In the social bonds that we make

 Using our pleasantries, physical attributes and our charms

That we bake into the cake

These recipes will surely vary

It will be tested, and you must sample 

Now you have to find a good customer

One that is compatible as an example

RSP

DCG

True beauty never changes 

True beauty, never changes

Only in our experience that we observe, we may realize

The Sufi’s describe this to see “the face of God“

When the mind can filter and allow us to recognize

It’s one thing to view a beautiful sunset over the ocean

And another to look upon someone you love

One by grace from God

One a relationship as a hand fits into a glove

Are they gifts? 

Or is one a dance?

A recognition?

A happenstance?

Beauty can be found almost anywhere

For those who are blessed to see

Even in the mind of the blind

If you touch, you can feel, if you hear than you too, will be!

You might ask how I come to know this

What doctrine, what Mystic, what Sage do I believe?

I only know in my own experience

When I give of myself I will receive

I am not at the center of the universe

I can see the beauty in helping others in need

The Centurion Longanus, who stuck the spear into Jesus on the cross

Had his sight restored as he watched the Christ bleed

DCG

We have an opportunity for change 

With every passing day

We have an opportunity for change

I guess any other consideration

Would be strange

So why do we not embrace this?

Creatures of habit, stuck in a rut

Sit around and do nothing

Only on display like the death mask of king tut

We seldom take the time

And self reflect

In the absence of negative feedback

We may foster neglect

Then again, some people really don’t care

Ignorance, egoist, narcissist, fools

The game must be played

Only by their rules

We can only find our own peace

We must not take on the burdens of society

Follow your conscience

How does it define your humanity?

DCG

Is there a path to our subconscious?

Can we better understand ourselves?

From our dreams that we remember?

Is there a path to our subconscious?

Where we can enter?

The Native American tribes

Known for the vision quest

They seemed to value the dreams

That they would invest

Cocaine addict Sigmund Freud

Wrote a book the interpretation of dreams

An outdated and unreliable psychology

And misguided as it seems

Those who take DMT or LSD

They say it extends the doors of our perception

Those who don’t

May give it a hard rejection

I was once well read in sleep and dreaming research

But that was over 30 years ago

So now I reflect on my own dreams

As I know only what I know

I think our minds will show us problems

In a hidden dream reality

Always trying to solve

The problem of subjectivity 

DCG